Women were asked on a viral TikTok whether it was worth marrying and cohabiting with men. Married women overwhelmingly said no.
Recently, a woman on TikTok asked other women whether living with men would be something she could look forward to in her life. Amidst over eight thousand comments, all the top and most endorsed comments overwhelmingly said, “Absolutely not!” But the most surprising part of this? Many of the commenters saying “No” were none other than currently married women themselves! See below for some of what married women had to say about marriage and cohabiting with men below. You can also read all eight thousand comments which overwhelmingly said no on the original TikTok.
“Happily married here. And I say this without weirdness — but if he dies first (and he knows this) — I will not do it again.”
“Absolutely not!!! No! Partnership can be lovely but I would strongly recommend keeping your own personal space and keeping your finances separate.”
“He needs to be incredibly amazing, loves you more than you love him and always wants to make you happy… other than that it’s a hard NO.”
“I love my husband with my whole heart but he will be the last man in my life.”
“I’m not joking when I say every friend of mine that is married, even “happily” says they would NEVER do it again.”
“No! Don’t do it. Stay single and childless. Enjoy your life and financial freedom.”
“NOPE!!! [I am] living alone for the first time ever. The peace is glorious.”
“Not worth it. I love my husband but I wish we could afford separate residences.”
“12 years into marriage and I’d NEVER do it again. I’m not unhappy in the relationship but [please] leave my house.”
“At the beginning of my relationship, I would have said “Yes!! It’s the best.” Now 10 years in, I say “Keep everything separate. Do not live with a man no matter how in love you think you are.”
“Getting married was single worst decision of my lifetime, by a landslide. Totally obliterated my life beyond repair.”
“No. A great handyman that comes and fixes things and you give him money and he leaves is top-tier.”
Other commenters who were also previously married jumped in with agreement, stating that they felt more peace living alone than they ever did cohabiting with a man or being married. Some commenters advised the TikToker to get separate residences and keep finances separate. A few said they loved their husband and enjoyed living with him but would never marry again if it had to be with a different man, reflecting the current state of the dating pool.
It is clear women on average have not been having a good time in marriage or cohabitation, likely due to the disparity in the emotional and domestic labor they are expected to provide in marriage. A wealth of research also shows that women fare worse on average in marriage than men, often becoming more psychologically distressed and not happier or healthier as the marriage continues, contrary to popular myth. Social media has allowed us to peer through the veil and hear married women share their stories fearlessly to help other women prevent the same mistakes. The lesson here? Marry a high quality man if you do want to marry and don’t settle for less. Many women are much happier single than in a toxic or incompatible relationship. Otherwise, you’re far better off sticking to your standards and living peacefully on your own or in separate residences from your partner until you’re absolutely certain this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
