Simen Platou/The Simifers
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Simen Platou, a 38-year-old Norwegian living in Bali. He runs a YouTube channel about family life on the island. This essay has been edited for length and clarity.
I met my wife, Jen, in Bali nine years ago.
She's half Indonesian and had just moved from Florida to Bali for a marketing internship. I'd been living in Bali since February 2011.
It was love at first sight, and after four years of dating, we decided to get married. Neither of us had any interest in leaving Bali. Our daughter Naia was born in 2021, and we welcomed our son Koji in November of the following year.
Now, I'm learning to embrace both Asian and Western parenting styles when raising my kids.
When I was growing up in Norway, my parents were strict but also chill. Norway has low crime rates, and since it was safe, I had a lot of independence as a child.
By age 4 or 5, I was leaving the house alone to walk around the neighborhood and meet up with my friends. We lived right next to a forest in Oslo and often played there in the afternoons.
The local kids in Bali do that, too, but it's harder to get around Bali on foot.
There aren't many proper sidewalks, and kids have to watch out for traffic. For now, my kids are too young to go out on their own anyway.
Here, parents often sleep with their young kids for a long time. In Norway, it's common to do sleep training and let the kid cry it out.
We tried that with our children, but it didn't feel right. Now, even though we don't get much sleep, we still sleep together as a family.
Amanda Goh/Business Insider
We're also close to our extended family, including my wife's sister and mom, who live in Bali.
Even our nanny is part of our family. She's been around since my daughter was born. We try to bring our kids up with more of a community here than in the Western world.
My parents are also fully supportive of our choices. They still live in Norway, and they've visited Bali three times.
But we try not to baby our kids too much.
I want my kids to be independent, and I want them to believe in themselves. Even though my daughter is three, I let her use scissors if she does it properly.
I also want them to know that they're always loved. My wife and I tell our kids that we love them a lot. In Norway, parents show love but it's not as common for them to say it out loud.
I speak only Norwegian with our children. Jen speaks to them in English. Our kids speak Bahasa Indonesian to Jen's mom, as well as with the nanny and our neighbors.
Simen Platou/The Simifers
It can be confusing sometimes for me to communicate, as I'm the only one who speaks Norwegian. Although my daughter understands everything, she replies to me in English.
It would be easier to tell her stuff in English, but if I'm consistent, I think she'll start responding in Norwegian one day.
Growing up in Bali is a bit of a bubble. The expat kids tend to attend international schools rather than local ones. Our children have Balinese friends, but they will never fully be a part of the local culture, with its strong customs and traditions.
I've been here for 13 years, but I'll always be seen as a foreigner. I have Balinese friends, but since I'm not part of everything that's going on in the neighborhood with their traditional ceremonies and cultural practices, I will always be somewhat on the outside.
That's mostly because you can afford help, such as someone to clean the house or watch the kids. Our nanny helps us until 1 p.m. every day.
Amanda Goh/Business Insider
We can afford many things that we wouldn't do in Norway, like eating out more and ordering food delivery more.
Bali is a great place for kids to grow up. On the weekends, we go to the beach or a playground. We also have friends with kids, so we often go to someone's house and hang out. There are no dark, cold winter months.
It's a high quality of life.
