Come back, Claire, and rest your weary bones in this hot tub with me.
Are you ready to make a splash this summer? Amazon Prime Day is here, and with it comes an ocean of savings on hot tubs! You'll be soaking up, um, savings, faster than you can say, I don't know..."Jacuzzi?"
Ugh. I can't do this anymore. I can't maintain the facade.
Before you click that shiny "Get Deal" button, I have a confession to make: This article isn't just about getting a great deal on a hot tub on Prime Day. It's not not about that—though technically no inflatable hot tubs are included in the Prime Day promotion, even though many great ones listed below are discounted 20% or more—but it's also about Claire Lower.
Claire was Lifehacker's former senior food editor. In eight years, she wrote more than 3,400 articles for this site. One of them captured her specific brand of self-proclaimed "dirtbag luxury" better than the rest: Her recommendations of the best inflatable hot tubs to order on Prime Day.
Claire is the real reason I'm writing this—I live in an apartment! I can't get a hot tub! But things haven't been the same since she left. Yes, change is the only constant in our crazy world. You can never step in the same river twice; both you and the water will have changed. But I believe you can stay in the same hot tub forever. Or at least, when you're in a hot tub, it's as if time stops and suddenly the concept of "forever" doesn't seem so bad.
I'm a different woman now, Claire. And so are you. We're in different rivers, and even the metaphorical rivers we're in are constantly changing around us. But I still work at Lifehacker, and I'm still casually dreaming of the INTEX 28441EP PureSpa Greywood Deluxe Spa Set for $671.72 (was $1,119.99).
Claire, you're off in a mythical place called Portland, and probably dreaming of the Coleman SaluSpa AirJet 4 to 6 Person Inflatable Hot Tub Square Portable Outdoor Spa with 114 Soothing AirJets for $549.99. Talk about dirtbag luxury.
In real life, we're in different places, doing different things. But a hot tub isn't real life.
In a hot tub, real life doesn't matter. Sure, in "reality," I'm inside, writing about Prime Day deals, and pining for an old coworker's attention. Perhaps things would look a little different with some massage jets working their magic on my weary bones. Maybe then I could achieve the rejuvenation and reflection only made possible through a self-contained tub of 100ºF water, located in my own damn backyard.
My editors are worried about me. "How can an article about deals on hot tubs win the affections of a former coworker?" they ask. "Aren't you the senior personal finance writer? Shouldn't you help readers learn how to buy a home?" To that, I say: What is a home without a hot tub? What is a home without the INTEX 28483E SimpleSpa Bubble Massage Spa?
If enough people honor Claire's hot tub legacy by ordering one of them from Amazon, maybe she'll notice me again. Maybe we'll reconnect over a shared love of hydrotherapy and questionable online rants.
So go ahead, treat yourself to a hot tub. Not only because of the "amazing Prime Day deals," but because you believe in love. Or at least, you believe in the bond between coworkers goes beyond them simply working at the same place. Act now, supplies are limited. (Supplies of my dignity, that is.)
