You can’t dip your heart in an anesthetic. You can’t flip off your feelings like a switch. You can’t be the emotionless android that you wish you were. The best you can do is act like you don’t have feelings, but that isn’t going to make life any easier. Pretending you don’t have a heart isn’t going to protect it.
You can lie to your parents when they ask you if there are any nice boys in your life. You can lie to yourself about how you can’t stand men and that marriage is bullshit anyway. You can even ignore those sexy dreams you’ve been having about your coworker that cause you to break out the vibrator on lonely mornings. But deep down, you know the truth.
Drugs aren’t going to dull the ache in your heart and neither is that bottle of Jack Daniels. All of those text messages and “likes” on your selfies might hold you over for a while, but by the end of the night you’ll be feeling lonely again. No amount of brown sugar, Scotch, or social media can replace the feeling of true love.
Even if you swear yourself off of relationships, you can still fall victim to heartache. No matter what, you’re going to be interacting with men, which means you might unexpectedly fall in love with the boy next door or your best guy friend. You can run from Cupid, but you can’t hide.
Your heart has been damaged. You don’t want to want anyone anymore. That’s why you don’t feel a thing when a man compliments you, asks you out, or even makes you orgasm. But that doesn’t mean you’re heartless. You’re still capable of loving. You’re still capable of being loved. You just need some time to heal before you can use your heart’s full capacity.
It would be crazy to remain unemployed, because you have a fear of getting fired or to drop out of college, because you have a fear of bad grades. So why would you avoid dating, out of fear of getting dumped? Everything worth having in life comes with its risks. You have to be willing to take them.
Turn down dates with men you’re not interested in. Turn down dates that you know won’t lead to anything. But don’t turn down dates that you know would make you happy, even just for a night. You don’t have to let everyone in, but you have to let somebody in.
You’re not heartless. You’re human. It’s natural for you to have feelings, and it’s dangerous for you to run from them. Crushes aren’t something to be embarrassed about and love isn’t something to be ashamed of. They’re beautiful things. If you gave them another chance, you’d see that.
You pretend you’re heartless, because you don’t want to get your heart broken. But if you keep turning down potential friends and boyfriends, you’re going to be the one breaking hearts. You’ll become the thing that you hate the most. Is that what you want?
You’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again. There are men out there that will handle your heart with gentle hands. They won’t put you through all the suffering and strain that you’ve come to associate with loving someone.
Even if someone special comes along to “complete you” and then brutally stabs you in the back, you can handle the repercussions. Are you really going to let some silly boy ruin your life? I don’t think so. That’s why you might as well stop pretending that you’re a heartless bitch and give love a shot.
