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I spent nearly a decade in the college classroom, teaching composition to freshmen. Not only was it my job to teach students how to write a college-level essay, but I also found myself taking on another role. I involuntarily became a college student life coach of sorts.
The small number of students and the nature of my class yielded plenty of time for conversation. I found that many of my students shared common struggles. Mostly, they were ill-prepared to be a college student — yet their parents and teachers expected them to "act their age."
Though 18 year olds can be viewed as adults, they often walk into my classroom lacking the skills and tools they need to meet the expectations abruptly thrust upon them.
Parents, before you send your sort-of-adult-child to college this fall, use this summer to ensure they have what they need for their next phase of life.
One of the biggest college student woes is that parents and adult kids butt heads regarding money. Parents need to teach their kiddos proactively how to budget, whether the student is failing a class, overspending on food and clothes, or failing to secure a part-time job.
Have your student get a part-time job this summer and ensure they know how to manage their own bank account and spending (and saving). Be frank about how much money you can provide them once they start college, and stick to the budget, no matter what.
Tip: Don't use money as a threat, which only creates an unhealthy parent-child dynamic.
Being a college student is stressful and disruptive. A student's physical health is critically important to their overall well-being.
Exercise — whatever kind the student likes — can help them sleep better, manage their weight, and keep stress in check. Balanced meals and snack choices can help prevent the "Freshman 15," which is a common weight gain among new college students. They must also regulate blood sugar so they can sleep and study well.
This summer, physical health needs to be modeled at home when the whole family grocery shops and prepares meals together. Parents can also help make exercise fun.
In other words, parents: Practice what you preach.
When in high school, many of my college students were used to Mommy or Daddy stepping in on their behalf, managing any issues that would arise. Once in college, students are suddenly expected to navigate their needs independently.
If you haven't yet, instead of swooping in to save your child from making decisions and facing consequences — positive or negative — ask them how they feel about a situation, what they need, and what possible solutions they're considering.
Support them in their emotions and decisions, allowing them to live and learn the lessons. The game of trial and error is the best teacher.
The best tip here is safety comes first — always. If your child has been raised in a low-crime, family-friendly community, they may not be used to having to think about personal safety. They very well will experience college culture shock if you don't prepare them now.
Things to teach and model this summer include never leaving valuables in a car, always locking the vehicle, and always keeping their bag or purse on them. I'd also recommend teaching them not to be completely enveloped by their phone when walking around campus, including crossing streets and parking lots.
If you haven't already, also talk about sexual health, consent, and alcohol and drug usage. Again, the best way to teach these to kids is to give them opportunities to practice good judgment, as well as follow the rules yourself.
College can be an exciting time for freshmen. To ensure your almost-adult child is prepared, use this summer to teach, guide, and support. Be a proactive parent and set your child up for success.
