Flying with a young baby is not for the faint-hearted. Between navigating busy airports, staying on top of your own travel needs and trying to convey that they’re safe in a situation that is entirely alien to them — it’s not a walk in the park.
Especially if other travellers are impatient with you, too.
Crystal Miles, a baby communication and bonding expert said: “When my son was 10 weeks old, we took our first flight with him.
“I clearly remember as the wheels touched down a gentleman in front of us turning around and congratulating us on having such a “good” baby, and how in honesty he was dreading his flight when he saw he was seated near us, but that he’d done “really well”. It felt like a backhanded compliment and it poked Mama Bear.”
Miles went on to say that even at her parent and baby classes, she’s found that flying with babies is a hot topic for discussion and that overall, many parents feel anxious about it.
Miles added: “Delving into the subject it seems that the anxiety is largely focussed on crying. As a society, we are not particularly tolerant of babies crying in public.
“Crying is a recognised behavioural state by baby communication experts, one of the 6 awake, sleep or transitional states that babies travel across during a 24-hour period.
“A very normal part of their development, and ultimately how they communicate with their caregivers. Yet the narrative that children should be seen and not heard, sadly still looms over new parents and we can be made to feel that our baby’s communication is a nuisance.”
Thankfully, Miles has some tips on comforting babies and ourselves on flights.
Miles said: “At several stages of getting to your flight you will be asked to take your baby out of their buggy and eventually fold it and board. It can be much easier to use a baby carrier or sling to get through the airport, to keep your hands free and avoid disturbing them too much.
“Babies love to be close to their parents and often fall asleep with contact naps, this may help to ensure they are well rested before their flight. Once you’re in the air, if you do not have access to a cot, it can be a perfect place to take a nap too.”
It’s hard to imagine just how disorientating landing and taking off must be for babies, especially with the accompanying ear discomfort. Miles recommends that parents ease pressure and help ears to equalise by offering the baby a feed during take-off and landing as swallowing can be beneficial.
Miles added: “A dummy or clean finger to suck on may also help if that’s not possible, or a snack for older babies. Wait until the plane is physically taking off as taxiing the runway can take a while.”
Miles said: “Cue based parenting programmes, such as IAIM infant massage, teach parents to understand their baby’s unique language, which is evidenced to boost parental confidence and self-esteem.
“Understanding baby language helps us to identify their needs before they need to shout a little louder, i.e. cry. Recognising their cues and responding to their needs appropriately can reduce the need to cry to communicate.”
Miles explained that, for example, babies making short, sharp sounds, and jerky uncontrolled movements may need their nappy changed.
This won’t be easy, as travelling is inherently stressful. However, Miles warned that babies can feed off your emotions.
She said: “Babies pick up on the emotional cues of others, they look to their caregivers to know how to react in any given circumstance, so the more relaxed we feel, the more calm our babies will be too.
“Remember you hear your baby much louder than others do, that’s survival. Their cry is perfectly pitched to get your attention. Deep breathing techniques can help to release oxytocin, the calming hormone, which can help to regulate your nervous system. In through the nose, and slowly out through the mouth.”
Finally, Miles said: “The biggest tip I can give you, is that anybody else’s reaction to your baby crying is on them, not you. It is much easier for an adult to find a solution to their discomfort than a baby that needs your support to do so. Which one has the developed brain here?”
Well, yes! Happy hols!
