Ahead of UFC on ESPN 59, Abdul Razak Alhassan opened up about dealing with mental struggles after being accused of sexual assault.
Just over four years ago, Abdul Razak Alhassan received a verdict that cleared his name of sexual assault allegations.
Hearing “not guilty” from a Texas jury was a massive relief. However, the UFC middleweight has struggled mentally with the entire situation because it is still attached to him despite being cleared of the charges. Alhassan (12-6 MMA, 6-6 UFC) admits that moving past the accusations has been difficult as it has changed him as a person and fighter.
“I really don’t talk about this much, but there was a time in my life that some bad accusation happened to me, and I’m not going to lie, it f*cked me up mentally,” Alhassan started at Wednesday’s UFC on ESPN 59 media day (via Full Send MMA). “I swear to God. All my fights, I try to come back and try to find that ‘me.’ I couldn’t find it, no matter what I do.
“I would be walking in there, and I f*cking feel ashamed. Because that is the most evil, the most disgusting thing you could attach. For somebody who – I’m a very prideful person. To even have something to attach my name, it’s very disgusting. I tried to forget about it. I try to work on it mentally.”
Prior to dealing with the legal issues, Alhassan was 10-1 as a professional fighter, with his lone loss coming in the UFC by split decision. He was extremely confident, and built a three-fight winning streak of first-round knockouts in the UFC.
Then, everything changed.
Alhassan was burdened by false accusations of rape two weeks after he knocked out Niko Price in September 2018. He would not return to the cage until July 2020, over three months after being cleared. When he returned, things were not the same. He lost three straight, including missing weight for the first two. “Stuff just went south,” as Alhassan put it.
In everyday life, Alhassan has changed how he operates around women. He says he now records everything for his safety and that his phone is filled with audio recordings of interactions, even of the most routine events.
“I record everything, I swear to God,” Alhassan said. “I walk into an elevator right now, and if a woman walks in that with me, I turn my camera on right away. If I open my phone, my audio right now, I swear I have so many audios in my phone because I’m scared. I’m scared of what’s going to happen. Someone’s going to do the same sh*t to me? I’m worried.”
Alhassan returns to the octagon at UFC on ESPN 59 in Denver to take on Cody Brundage. It’s an opportunity to return to the win column after an October loss to Joe Pyfer. Although Alhassan lost to Pyfer, he believes the outing finally got things back on track for him mentally, as he passionately vented his frustrations.
“In my head I was thinking to myself, ‘I fixed myself. I fixed it,'” Alhassan said. “But I swear to God, I never (did) until – I’ll thank Pyfer for that last fight. Of course, I was injured for that last fight, but hey, you still have to make money. And I came in there, but after that fight, I feel like that guy made me find that f*cking demon in me.
“That ‘f*ck everything I’ve been thinking about myself.’ I’m going to cry. I’m going to do anything I have to do, but I will never give up. And this is that f*cking time, I swear to God I cannot wait to put my hand on this motherf*cker. I swear, all the anger I have in me, all the anger – I’m going to unleash it on this motherf*cker, I swear to God. All the revenge I didn’t get on those evil motherf*ckers, that revenge that the law didn’t allow me to get from that – those b*tches. I swear, I’m going to unleash it on this motherf*cker. I swear to God.”
Alhassan issued a warning to Brundage (10-6 MMA, 4-5 UFC), but later clarified he has no personal issues with his upcoming opponent and would like to go out to eat or train with him after they meet in the cage.
For Alhassan, it’s purely business, and this fight is simply another part of the process of overcoming the accusations that caused him so much mental trauma.
“I’m telling you this now, if you’re watching wherever the f*ck you are, you better kill me in that f*cking ring,” Alhassan said. “You better knock me the f*ck out that I cannot move, but I swear to God, you will f*cking regret that you fought Razak, I swear to God. I’m going to unleash that f*cking demon in me.”
For more on the card, visit MMA Junkie’s event hub for UFC on ESPN 59.
