Republican Rep. Jeff Duncan stood on the House floor Tuesday and bemoaned his plight to the American people, avowing "I do load and unload the dishwasher."
In consequence, he was immediately and resoundingly mocked.
The South Carolina lawmaker made this heartfelt omission of personal suffering during a debate on the Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards bill that seeks to prohibit the Secretary of Energy from enforcing energy conservation standards.
"I can tell you, Mr. Speaker, that many times I have opened the dishwasher, loaded properly, with the right amount of dishwashing liquid or pod put in, that all the dishes aren't clean," the orator declared.
"[I] had to run it again. And Americans know this."
Presumably, Americans didn't know Duncan sometimes loads the dishwashers — admittedly this one hadn't put much thought into the matter — but Duncan appears to be referring to his fellow citizens' views on modern engineering.
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"Americans know they have to run the dishwasher oft times more than once," Duncan told Congress. "Americans know, you open that dishwasher after a cycle, and apparently the heating component of the efficiency standards didn't dry the dishes."
Duncan proceeded then to list the many utensils he has dried in this horrific state of American affairs.
"Cup, knife, fork, plate, pan," he murmured. "You dry it off before you put it up. Heck, you might as well have just washed it in the sink."
Duncan then slammed the "pious" naysayers who believe that energy conservation might serve a greater good beyond appliances that clean and dry dishes for them.
"The American people know," said Duncan. "The American people know what they deal with every day."
When his fiery speech hit social media, hundreds of Americans acknowledged other truths they deal with every day.
"The struggle is real," replied X user Cares Cromwell. "Pray for this burdened man."
"When I opened the dishwasher," satirized Dean Booth, "Out stepped an illegal immigrant, who asked, 'Where do I register to vote for democrats?'"
"We're focusing on the problems upper class white people need fixed," added X user Bill De Mayo. "Priorities people, this is serious stuff."
"With freedom for dishwashers, refrigerators, and washing machines they are making America great again," added X user A to the Z. "FFS with this clown show."
"Of all the things that never happened," said Katrina McKinney in a meme. "This never happened the most."
Watch the speech below or click here.
