Whether you’re pushing your college-bound kid reluctantly out of the nest or doing so with gusto, you’ll both feel much better about the transition if you’ve prepped them to handle small yet significant parts of the real world. There are so many things every grown-up child must eventually learn how to do — like cooking a decent meal, for starters.
Sure, you can try to walk them through it on the phone once they’re out of the house, but why not get the ball rolling now? That way you can spend that precious phone time chatting about the stuff you really care about (Read: Whether they’re doing their homework, what clubs they’ve joined, who they’re dating, etc.).
Do the math on that college meal plan and you’ll probably keel over when you realize just how much you’re paying per meal. If your kid’s school allows it, an induction cooker for their dorm room, some pots and pans, and some know-how will solve that problem. And once they move off-campus, they’ll already be set.
If you’re opting out of that pricey meal plan, you’ll be relying on your kid to spend their (or possibly your) money wisely. Pro tip: If you’re going to be footing the bill for their food, get them a gift card for a local grocery store for a set amount each month — that way, they can’t blow their lunch money on partying.
Do your kids really know how to do their own laundry? What to do when there’s a stain? How to separate their clothes and what temperatures to use? Think about it. Even if they actually do their own laundry at home (and don’t half-do their laundry and have Mom finish it), they’ve just been using whatever settings you told them to on your machine for probably 10 years. When they get to a new machine, do they know what to do?
This is an important one. Not only can people who don’t know how to say “no” wind up over-scheduled and stressed, but they may be presented with a lot of questionable options and you won’t be there to monitor them. Talking about setting boundaries now is essential.
It’s not if, but when your tire will blow. Nothing is worse than being stranded on the side of the road and having to hope that the guy who stopped to help really is just being a nice guy. Make sure they have the knowledge and the tools to take care of this one on their own.
Seriously… They’re going to try even if they don’t know how, and it could be dangerous.
It seems silly, but even a lot of students who do really well in high school fall apart in college because they don’t know how to study. In college, it’s not enough to read the textbook. They need to be able to identify what they’re expected to know and how to test themselves (preferably multiple times) before the professor does.
They likely won’t just be writing essays as homework but as part of their tests too, so it’s important that they feel confident in their essay-writing skills. In college, it’s often less about the 5-paragraph structure they’ve been taught thus far and more about convincingly presenting a thesis.
They won’t be able to have Mom and Dad go over their work anymore, and in college, they shouldn’t be surprised if their teachers take points off for grammar errors. They need to learn tricks for proofreading their own writing.
Even if your student has had a job before, that doesn’t mean they really know how to budget money. After all, they’ve always had Mom and Dad to back them up if they ran out. Make sure they know how to budget for the month so they know how much Monopoly money they really have plus how (and when) to pay bills.
Even if your child doesn’t have one yet, the offers will start pouring in shortly after they get their own mailbox. And now that they’re adults, you have to accept that they don’t need your permission to sign up for one.
Make sure they understand interest rates (which are insanely high when you’re 18 and the only thing on your credit history is the student loan you haven’t started paying back yet), as well as when it’s OK to use the card and when to pay them back.
Because let’s face it, you can’t shoot your professor a note that says, “what up, Dr. B!” and then forward her a roundup of memes.
These days, many schools offer abstinence-only sex education. Even if you agree with this policy in general, studies show these programs do not stop kids or delay them from becoming sexually active. So if they’re going to be having sex, make sure they’re doing so safely.
If you don’t feel comfortable teaching them (or you think they’d be too mortified watching Mom put a condom on a zucchini), your local Planned Parenthood can help. Plus, they can help with other forms of birth control too!
Accidents happen, so make sure your kid knows how to administer immediate and appropriate treatment for burns and cuts in addition to CPR.
They don’t need to know how to dismantle an engine block or build an ark, but knowing basics like checking the oil or changing the battery can be incredibly useful. Plus, knowing how to fix a minor plumbing or electrical issue (unclogging a toilet or flipping a breaker) isn’t just handy and money-saving, but it builds confidence too.
A version of this story was published in 2016.
