President Biden’s mental acuity has become one of the biggest storylines of the 2024 election, especially after his subpar performance in the first presidential debate. However, his re-election team has just crafted the perfect response to all criticisms about his age: The Biden campaign is arguing that being president is actually one of the best ways to keep an elderly person’s mind active and engaged.
Whoa. Biden’s haters are pretty quiet right now!
Biden’s 2024 campaign is currently mounting a full court press rejoinder, challenging critics to name a more mentally stimulating activity for a senior in decline than governing the most powerful nation on Earth. Democrats’ new messaging asks voters to consider that the duties of the executive office afford Biden a socially engaged, active lifestyle, and that taking away such a vital sense of purpose from an octogenarian would only accelerate the psychological deterioration that his detractors claim to be so troubled over.
“Staying busy is vital to keeping an elderly person’s faculties sharp and alert, making the Oval Office one of the healthiest possible environments for a person of President Biden’s advanced age,” explained Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre in a briefing earlier today, going so far as to suggest that being president may be the only thing preventing Biden from slipping into full-on dementia.
“Guiding the United States’ foreign and domestic policy through numerous economic, diplomatic, and security crises is like doing crossword puzzles and playing bingo on steroids. In fact, the long stretches of isolation that exacerbate most seniors’ mental decline are a non-factor for President Biden, whose job grants him a robust social life by its very nature, with countless White House staffers and world leaders putting his attention and focus to work every moment of every day,” Jean-Pierre concluded. “Ideally, every senior facing cognitive decline would get a chance to be in President Biden’s position, but short of that, it is important that we support him in his current role so that he can keep living the healthy, happy life he deserves.”
Check and mate, Republicans.
Well, it’s time for Biden’s doubters to find a new talking point to harp on, because this one’s officially shut down forever. Positioning Biden as the most mentally stimulated senior in the world is a truly genius PR move—and one that probably has Trump shaking in his (tiny) shoes!
