My boyfriend’s best friend took advantage of him
DEAR DEIDRE: My boyfriend was drunk one night and admitted that his best friend had come on to him when they lived together.
His best friend is 39 and my boyfriend is 25. My boyfriend first moved into a flat-share with him when he was 16 but when he moved out to live with me, his friend made a suicide attempt.
He recovered but then kept sending photos to my boyfriend of himself in his underwear.
We got home from my friend’s birthday party last weekend and my boyfriend was hammered. He started telling me about a time when he’d woken up being intimately touched by his friend.
He said that I came along at the right time because he was fed up with his friend apparently “sleep walking”.
I called him out on it the next morning but he denied there was anything untoward between them. I’ve told him that his mate’s interest in him is unhealthy. I don’t want to be in a love triangle.
I’m female, 22, and this is my first serious relationship.
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DEIDRE SAYS: This man could have groomed your boyfriend, although it seems he turned down his advances. It wouldn’t be unusual for somebody in the same situation to feel protective of an abuser.
It is up to your boyfriend to encourage his friend to move on and you can help the situation by letting him see that you and your boyfriend are a strong couple.
If your boyfriend confesses to something else which made him feel uncomfortable, he’ll find help through Survivors UK (survivorsuk.org).
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