DEAR DEIDRE: A girl I’m having a baby with says she won’t name me on our child’s birth certificate to ensure I’ll have no part to play in our child’s life.
I’m a 30-year-old man. I slept with this girl after we met in a club. We went back to her flat and had sex.
I thought it would be a fling at the most.
She claimed her period was due so we didn’t use protection. Now I think she must have been lying.
When she told me she was pregnant I was shell-shocked and reacted badly even telling her I didn’t want to be a part of the child’s life.
I later apologised and said I’d stand by her.
But she’s hit out saying I won’t have a part in my child’s life because I didn’t want it. How do I go about actually being a father to my child if she won’t give me a chance?
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She is 28 and says I won’t have a leg to stand on unless she includes me so where do I go from here. Will I have to take her to court to see the baby? Do I have any parental rights if she won’t name me?
She is very stubborn and I know her mum who she lives with influences her decisions. It is really draining. I am so confused.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: If your name is not on the birth certificate, then you do not have parental responsibility automatically.
You can apply to the Courts for parental responsibility or come to an agreement with the mother.
Try to convince your baby’s mother how important it is for your child to have a relationship with you.
Find out about your legal rights through Families Need Fathers (www.fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).
Children always lose out when parents use them in their own emotional battles. My support pack When Parents Fall Out explains more.
