Plus: I think I have a good seat, and then I spend an hour staring at a hat.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired and have recently joined a Harley-Davidson motorcycle club. We both love to ride and are looking forward to many events in the coming months.
At the first meeting we attended, an ex-lover of mine was seated near my husband. They seemed to enjoy conversing back and forth. I kept a low profile and tried to ignore the situation.
I know that at the meetings and upcoming events, we are sure to see each other. Should I tell my husband who this person is?
I am concerned it will spoil those events for us and cause issues if I reveal it.
My husband has, for years, taken meds for anxiety and depression. We are very happy together, and I love him very much.
— LET’S RIDE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR LET’S RIDE: Very few people today don’t have some kind of history. Tell your husband the truth.
Believe me, he is sure to be even more anxious and depressed if the situation is revealed before you can tell him.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 70-year-old Black woman who looks about 45 or 50.
I recently met a man online while playing dominoes. We have been chatting back and forth for about two weeks now. He is 44, is of German descent and has a 9-year-old son.
The problem is, he wants to have a relationship with me.
I have told him I’m 26 years older than he is, my children are older than him and I have great-grandchildren his son’s age. He says none of this matters to him.
We have never met in person, but he has invited me to come to Texas.
What else can I say to persuade him that this cannot work?
— OUT OF THE QUESTION IN VIRGINIA
DEAR OUT: My goodness, you certainly are getting the bum’s rush. Please take some time and get to know this person better.
If you are still corresponding in, say, six months, a way to demonstrate the difference in your ages would be to accept his gracious invitation to visit, and bring along one of your children.
DEAR ABBY: An old hat style that created problems years ago has returned.
The brim is so large that a person sitting behind it in church can see nothing but the back of that hat.
It’s aggravating to think I had a good place to sit and then have to spend an hour seeing only that big hat. To block the view of those seated behind you is inconsiderate.
I hope you will mention this in your column so women will be reminded how those large brims present a problem in any gathering where people are expected to sit quietly and listen to a speech or sermon.
I move when I can, but that isn’t always possible, especially when the hat suddenly “appears” right before the service starts and finding another place to sit isn’t feasible.
— BLOCKED IN ALABAMA
DEAR BLOCKED: Your point is well taken. I’m pleased to pass your reminder along to those who need to see it, but since we cannot control the behavior of others, you would be well advised to run for the first row when you have a chance.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
