JACK Tweed has revealed he has struggled with guilt his whole life following the tragic death of Jade Goody.
The 37-year-old finally feels ready to move on and has revealed he’s expecting his first child with partner Ellie.
It’s been a long journey for Jack to get here are battling with drink and drugs in the years following Jade’s death from cervical cancer in 2009.
Jack and Jade were going to have their own child – but Jade, who had children Bobby and Freddie from her relationship with Jeff Brazier – tragically had a miscarriage.
Not long after she fell ill and the couple, who married shortly before she died, were unable to fulfil their dreams of completing their family.
But Jack is now ready for his next chapter, telling us: “I’ve always felt guilty all my life about it, even talking to other girls and stuff like that.
“I’ve always felt guilty, but now I finally I think I’ve accepted it, and I don’t feel that guilt anymore, really, about it.
“I feel like it’s acceptable to move on, and I think she’d want the same thing as well,” he explained.
“I know she’d want the same thing as well.”
Jack finds it hard to imagine how Jade would have reacted to the news, because he believes they would still be together today.
But he says: “I think she’d be buzzing.
“When she was going through what she was going through, she was trying to tell me – she was like lying in the hospital saying, ‘I really want you to move on. Don’t think that you can ever not move on’.
“But obviously at that time I was like, please, let’s not talk about that. Don’t be silly.
“I didn’t want to talk about her not being here because in my head I was always – there was always a tiny bit of hope that she wouldn’t actually pass away.”
What Jack does know though is that Jade thought he was an amazing dad, he says she wanted him to adopt Bobby and Freddie and was desperate for them to have a family of their own.
Electrician Jack is now looking forward to concentrating on parenthood after battling his daemons in his twenties as he came to terms with Jade’s death.
At his lowest, Jack turned to drink and drugs but has now turned his life around and he’s ready for his next chapter.
“I think just everything about me has sort of grown up. Like when you’re younger you care what a lot of people think, and think I don’t want to do that because everyone’s going to think I’m an a****hole and feel like I’m doing something wrong on Jade,” he shared.
“But you finally just get past everything, don’t you? And just I need to make myself happy. I can’t just keep shutting myself away from everyone.”
He added: “I just want to be the best dad that I can be now.”
CERVICAL cancer is most commonly diagnosed in women in their early 30s, with around 3,200 new cases and 850 deaths each year in the UK.
According to CRUK, the five-year survival rate is around 70 per cent – and the earlier it is caught, the better.
Cervical screening programmes and HPV vaccines have reduced rates and save 4,000 lives each year.
It is vital you attend your smear test and get jabbed when invited, and that you know the symptoms of cervical cancer to look out for.
These aren’t always obvious, and they may not become noticeable until the cancer has reached an advanced stage.
But you might notice:
Women are invited to have regular cervical screenings between the ages of 25 and 64. How often depends on your age.
The HPV vaccine, which helps protect against the virus, is recommended for children aged 12 to 13 and people at higher risk from HPV.
Source: NHS and Cancer Research UK
