What the hell was that?
If you were looking for a vague stroll under a cloudy sky with your Criminal Minds, you were in luck during "Conspiracy vs. Theory."
The episode meandered and accomplished almost nothing.
What it did accomplish came out of left field, but we'll discuss that in more detail below.
The best part of it all was Voit joining the BAU as a guest star. Who would have guessed I'd say that out loud after how I ridiculed him beginning with the Criminal Minds Evolution Season 2 premiere?
His involvement added much-needed humor and contributed to the action sequence.
Other than that, we got a whole lot of nothing.
Yes, they actually added Voit to the team in a bit of a guest-starring role. His excitement to be involved with the work he'd admired for so long was palpable.
The looks on everyone's faces as he was led, cuffed and shackled, to face his new coworkers were priceless.
The fact that he was allowed near a computer long enough to take command from Penelope and that he was ushered into the field and left long enough that he considered, if only for a brief moment, skedaddling said a lot about this season.
Until now, Voit has been more of a smartass than downright funny. That changed during this episode with some of these nuggets.
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"Holy shit. I read about that in Dave's book. That's real?" Who doesn't love it when he calls Rossi Dave as if they're besties?
"When I locked you in that shipping container, you must have been so, so scared." Zach Gilford delivered that line so beautifully that I wouldn't have been surprised to hear Joe Mantegna if slapped him during rehearsal.
"Are you listening to yourself? Because you sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist." Yes, I really appreciated any nod to the fact that facts and conspiracies have been in very close contact in recent times.
"What's up with your two? 'Cause there is a vibe." Voit was speaking about whatever was happening or not between Penelope and Luke. And he's right. There is still a vibe even after their awkward date not too long ago.
Not all of the humor came directly from Voit, but it was still related to him. Voit smells like crap. Apparently, that's a literal interpretation of how he smells. So much so that Penelope said, "Not showering, I get. But not wiping? Ew."
There was a lot more where this came from, but these lines really stood out in an otherwise lame episode.
Based on the discussion between Jade and Damien about their pasts, this is a revenge plot that ties in with the wayward kids reeducation camp they visited in Criminal Minds Evolution Season 2 Episode 3.
"People are finally waking up to what happened to Kids like us," Damien said (and I'm paraphrasing).
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We knew the murders all tied back to that school, but I'm interested in discovering who else is involved and whether they're connected to it, as well.
The BAU is relying on a serial killer and aggregator of like minds to solve this case. That's a scary thought. It gets even worse when you hear Emily Prentiss give the OK to Rossi to kill Voit if he tries to escape.
"We can apply seven pounds of pressure on a six-pound trigger," the answer to their problem went.
Things are not OK at the BAU.
I don't want anyone to panic, but Elias has not been truthful with the BAU regarding his involvement with Jade and Damien.
Voit gave Damien the strike team on the network. He didn't reveal that because he wasn't asked. That's a good note for today's "journalists," who seem to believe that people will give up what they know without asking.
They've even got a catchphrase about "North Star," which suggests not only that Voit may have been a part of this whole plan in much greater detail but that he's somehow working on the inside out, too.
With the way things have been unfolding, surely there is more to this story.
Voit can't be what he seems right now, which is a moderately funny narcissistic lunatic with a keen understanding of similar criminal minds who is willing to give it all up for... some deal that I don't fully understand.
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Well, that was a cluster you-know-what if I've ever seen one.
Despite Voit's repeated warnings that Jade and Damien would sense something wasn't right if they accompanied him to the meeting, they moved ahead.
But how they handled the arrival of a black van was shockingly abysmal.
The van was barrelling toward them; they opened fire. Inside was a poor bastard wired to the hilt.
Anyone could see this was a test. Would the old BAU have acted like this? Did they do it for fear of Voit running or to set him up to run so they could kill him outright?
Why did they emerge, guns blazing, before they fully assessed the situation? They could have let the van do a run-through. There was no need to blow their cover and out Voit as working with the feds.
What did that accomplish? What purpose will he serve now? Have they stolen the fun right out from under our noses?
While everyone else was off to Iowa (Penelope and Voit included), Prentiss enlisted Tyler to view her interrogation of Brian Garrity.
She resorted to rather infantile tactics, whining to Garrity that because of him, she lost everything. Truthfully, she recognizes her recent behavior and poor decisions are at fault.
What she did get from Garrity was a cryptic phrase: Teresa is in trouble. They told him it was Garrity's get-out-of-jail-free card. What does it mean?
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Since she was arrested, Prentiss has sold back every value she had held dear. She's smoking. She's telling Rossi to kill Voit in the field. She can't tell the difference between a conspiracy and a conspiracy theory.
Well, it all caught up with her.
She's no longer in charge of the BAU. Rossi is her backup. Great. From one messed-up leader to another. Prentiss's world was rocked by a simple arrest. Can you imagine how shaken she'd be if she was locked in a container and left for dead?
Once again, I'm stymied as to where this is all going.
There are many loose threads and awkward storylines that don't quite fit together.
Oddly enough, I'm beginning to feel like a Criminal Minds conspiracy theorist, as I can't determine the direction this season is heading. Can you?
Something tells me that the wool is being pulled over my eyes as much as it is the BAU's, and where the story is leading will be a complete surprise.
Drop me a comment down below and share your thoughts. If I've got it wrong, I need you to steer me straight!
