My partner will go off the rails without me

DEAR DEIDRE: If I end my 20-year relationship, I’m worried my partner will go off the rails. He won’t cope without me.

I’m a 37 year-old woman, who is ambitious and self-sufficient. I love our holidays, the outdoor life, growing vegetables and having days out with my son who is 10.

My partner is the polar opposite of me and sometimes I wonder how we ever got together.

I am an account manager for a PR firm. My partner is 39 and does different labouring jobs. He’s happy to come home every night and play on his Xbox.

I’ve suggested weekends away or that we even take our son swimming but he’s never interested. His answer to everything is, “You go”.

I know life could be better for me if I was alone with my son but my partner would have to move back to his mum’s. He moved in with me so the house is mine. All I know is that I’m fed-up.

DEIDRE SAYS: This relationship suited you as a teen but we all change so much in our teenage years and now it isn’t giving you what you need.

It’s time for some hard talking. Find a moment when you are both quiet and alone and explain that you feel you’re drifting apart. Ask what he wants for his future and explain to him what it is that you are looking for.

Give yourself a time limit for the changes to come and if they don’t, you may have to accept that this relationship has run its course.