DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL my heart sink every time I see my girlfriend liking other men’s photos.
I’ve asked her to stop so many times and she says she will, although she sees nothing wrong with it.
She says these men are just friends or colleagues.
I’m 33 and my partner’s 31.
We’ve been together for four years.
Even in the early days of our relationship I noticed she was constantly looking at other men when we were out on dates, which she denied.
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She recently liked a photo of a man in his boxers and commented “very impressive”.
She grew up with him. Since then she’s liked pics of numerous men who are usually posing in their underwear.
She says she doesn’t see anything wrong with it and that other men wouldn’t react like I do.
I feel offended because she should care about my feelings.
I can’t help but think she’s doing it on purpose now, knowing full well how I feel about it. It’s as if she doesn’t respect my feelings.
She has even told me she wouldn’t mind if I did the same with other women but that’s not my style.
I am so unhappy. I feel as though I am slowly falling out of love with her.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not surprised.
You have made it clear you’re not happy to accept what is “micro-cheating” – when a partner’s actions makes the other question their commitment, slowly eating away at any trust.
She may be genuinely comfortable with a partner behaving in a similar way but a relationship is built on good communication, mutual respect and compromise.
If she doesn’t care enough about your feelings to change her behaviour, I’m afraid you need to ask yourself if this relationship has a future.
My support packs Ending A Relationship and Moving On will help.
