With Father’s Day just around the corner, it’s a good time to understand the shift the last decade has gone through when it comes to present fathers.
The Pew Research Center found that millennial dads spend three times the amount of time with their children as compared to dads from 1965.
The research also found 57% of millennial dads consider being a parent as part of their identity.
According to father and the founder of DaddiLife Han-Son Lee, finding dad friends it’s difficult and those who aren’t able to create a sense of community find tackling fatherhood more challenging.
Speaking to HuffPost UK, Lee said: “One of the primary reasons dads find it hard to make friends happens right at the onset of becoming a new father.
“Something I’ve always been rather envious of is the natural sense of sorority and community that mothers have with each other, and that carries through prenatal classes, mum groups, and playdates.
“Dads, it’s safe to say, are still finding their feet with it comes to social connection in those environments.”
He also believes that societal expectations and stereotypes also play a significant role in inhibiting dads from forming friendships.
Traditional gender roles can still dictate that men should be stoic, strong, and self-reliant, traits that are often at odds with the vulnerability and openness required for building friendships.
“The prevailing notion that men should prioritise work and career over socialising further exacerbates this issue, leaving little room for dads to invest time and energy into cultivating friendships,” he adds.
From his own experience as a first-time dad, Han-Son has shared some tips on how new fathers can overcome barriers.
Utilise Dad-Friendly Spaces
Look for parenting groups, playgroups, or community organisations that welcome fathers.
Lee explains that these spaces provide opportunities for dads to connect with others who share similar experiences and challenges. The number of Saturday morning ‘Dads Clubs’ for instance in local cafes or soft play groups is growing, and it cultivates a ‘play and bond’ mentality that fits dad perfectly.
Initiate Conversations
OK, this one takes a brave step, but as a dad, take the initiative to strike up conversations with other dads at school events, sports practices, or neighbourhood gatherings, says Lee.
“Even a simple gesture like asking about their children or sharing parenting anecdotes can pave the way for deeper connections, and also start to form a sense of dad community in and around the school too,” he adds.
Prioritise Self-Care
Lee says that you can’t make friends if you don’t feel good in yourself, so as a dad make self-care a priority by carving out time for the things that replenish your energy too. By investing in your well-being, you’ll be better equipped to engage with others and cultivate friendships.
Utilise Technology
Another tip that he recommends is to leverage social media, online forums, and parenting apps to connect with other dads virtually.
“These platforms offer convenient ways to share advice, seek support, and arrange meet-ups with like-minded individuals.”
Shared interests
Finally, there’s a growing number of groups starting to open for dads around specific interests - particularly music and sport.
So thinking about a group of like-minded dads with similar hobbies can be a great way to make friends and connect with more dads.
Ultimately, Han-Son Lee says that dads need to be open to forming friendships and to broaden their own horizons — and that this will help in their fatherhood journey.
