Kinds of Kindness nets a relatively unkind 4.5-minute ovation by one measure.
To fully experience the Cannes Film Festival, you can’t merely read about it. You have to watch Mr. Bean’s Holiday, too. Seriously, folks, the media maelstrom of Cannes is wild, and this fest is particularly known for wildin’ out in one particular way: weirdly long standing ovations. (Also booing, but we’re focusing on the positive right now.) Some think it’s a fun tradition and a nice way for filmmakers to get their flowers before they die. Others feel the standing-ovation observation industry is “total bullshit.” Be that as it may, clocking the standing O’s for Cannes premieres has become a pastime of cinephiles, and it’s on its way to becoming one more stat to throw into the Cinematrix. According to IndieWire, the longest ovation to date was a staggering 22 minutes for Pan’s Labyrinth. How will this year’s offerings fare? We’ve ranked the recorded ovations, shortest to longest, including the latest. Cannes you believe it?
The Second Act: 3.5 Minutes
On Twitter, Variety’s resident standing ovalogist Ramin Setoodeh clocked the standing O for The Second Act (a French comedy about AI invading film) at a “robotic” 3.5 minutes. This is the colorful commentary we need! Did it feel perfunctory, or were people trying to flip their seats in a frenzy of cinephilia?
Kinds of Kindness: 4.5 Minutes or 6 Minutes
Yorgos Lanthimos’s latest netted a paltry 4.5-minute clap-athon on May 17, per Variety, which we can only describe as a kind of unkindness when compared to its competitors’ stronger showings. Either audiences’ vocal cords are completely exhausted from this week’s ovations, or the film’s sex and cannibalism and weirdo curiosities featuring Emma Stone made them want to exit the Palais as quickly as possible. Lanthimos, for his part, literally ducked out. On Twitter, Washington Post reporter Jada Yuan clarified that the O ended six minutes after the movie, but people stopped clapping during the credits.
Furiosa: 6–8 Minutes
Oooh, the girls (the trades) are fighting! Deadline, Variety, and The Hollywood Reporter all gave different times for the length of Furiosa’s ovation. According to Deadline, George Miller’s epic prequel got “nearly 8.” Setoodeh put the ovation at a mere six minutes. And THR split the diff at seven minutes. So what is the truth?
Megalopolis: 7 or 10 Minutes
Francis Ford Coppola’s batshit opus received either a 7-minute ovation (per Deadline and Variety) or a whopping 10 minutes of clapping (according to THR). How much of that applause was for the sheer audacity of having a guy in the audience ask a question of Adam Driver in the movie, then having Driver-in-movie respond? As unclear as the timing of this ovation.
Bird: 7–11+ Minutes
The Croisette’s potentially longest standing O thus far goes to Andrea Arnold’s Bird, starring the formerly self-described “little freak man-child” Barry Keoghan and Passages chaos agent Franz Rogowski. According to Deadline, the “enthusiastic” ovation lasted “in excess of 11 minutes,” while The Hollywood Reporter says it went on for a mere seven. Or, in pop terms, a little more than a doubleshot of “Espresso.”
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