My adult children always leave my house in a tip

DEAR DEIDRE: My children may as well pay me because it’s clear that I’m nothing more than a maid to them.

I spend every day picking up after them and no amount of nagging makes any difference.

I’m 54 and I have two children. My daughter is 23 and my son is 24.

I assumed it was something they would eventually grow out of.

However, since they’ve both moved back from uni the house has never been messier.

Every day, no matter how much I clean, there is always something left to do. Whether there’s food on the countertops, dirty washing all over their room, or even used plates, the house is always a tip.

I’ve tried to ask them to help out, but every time I’m met with grief and it turns into an argument.

The last thing I want to do is kick them out, but I’m starting to lose patience.

DEIDRE SAYS: As twenty-somethings they are old enough to clean just as much as you. Sit them both down and explain how you feel.

Be firm and tell them that if they’re planning on living with you, they need to contribute.

They have got used to doing very little and will continue to do so unless you firmly draw a line.

Create a rota, letting them have some say in what chores they do may help.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself explains how to calmly and firmly get your point across.