My son is no longer talking to me despite raising the kids alone – how did things get this bad?

DEAR DEIDRE: I RAISED the kids alone but to my utter confusion my youngest son is no longer talking to me.

The eldest son has also accused me of being emotionally incapable.

I am their 74-year-old dad. My wife left me when the children were four, six and eight. She simply walked out.

The children are in their early forties now.

I admit I struggle to talk about my feelings and the youngest is exactly the same.

I think he is scared of opening up after his mum left. He isn’t married and has never had any serious relationships.

I do understand and have always been there for him. I’ve helped him out on numerous occasions but I started to feel used, as the only time I got to speak to him was when he needed something.

Things went wrong when my daughter developed an eating disorder years ago. She needed a lot of my attention.

The last time I spoke to my son was a couple of years ago when he rang me to tell me his sister had threatened to harm herself.

I told him I’d had the same message many times over the years and sometimes I found it best not to respond.

Next thing I know he was running my name down to my other son.

I’ve tried phoning and texting him but he won’t respond.

DEIDRE SAYS: The damage your ex caused when she left still lasts today.

She walked out on all of you and a fear of abandonment dominates a your relationships today.

It sounds like he is suffering with low mood.

When people feel depressed they often pull away from loved ones and withdraw into themselves.

Family therapy would help you all and my Counselling support pack explains more.

You can also turn to standalone.org.uk, which supports people estranged from their families.