I don’t want to be with my boyfriend anymore but I also don’t want to hurt him
DEAR DEIDRE: THE more time I spend apart from my boyfriend, the less I want to see him.
When I got a promotion I knew it would take up a lot of my time. I’ve effectively chosen the job over him.
I’m 41 and my boyfriend is 33. We have been together for two years after meeting online.
I did work up the courage to tell him that I wasn’t happy and couldn’t see a future for us a year or so after we got together.
He didn’t take it well. It came as a shock to him.
He made it hard for me with the guilt trips and telling me how much he loved and missed me.
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We ended up getting back together but don’t meet up as regularly.
He’s noticed that I’ve deliberately not opened messages from him.
I take longer hoping he’ll get the hint I’m not that into him.
I don’t want to hurt him but I also know I don’t want this relationship.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Ending a relationship is never easy. But by stringing this out you are simply prolonging the inevitable.
Don’t let this relationship continue to drift when you know it isn’t what you want. You will only end up bitter and resentful.
Let him down gently, but do be firm. He will be hurt but will be able move on more quickly if you are honest and respectful of him.
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you.