Husband’s put-downs are alienating my children and we all dread get-togethers
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM dreading Easter when my married children and families come to visit.
I look forward to spending time with them, but my husband always puts me down in front of them and it just causes a bad atmosphere.
I am 68 and my husband is 71. We married 20 years ago and don’t have children together.
My children, a son and a daughter, are from my first marriage.
My husband will wait until I finally sit down to ask for a cup of tea, if I start a conversation with my children, he butts in and insists that I sort something for him.
He has mobility issues so I do a lot of running around for him – I am used to it – but he takes it to a new level when my family visits.
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He demands all my attention every five minutes.
It is ridiculous and I think my children would visit more if he wasn’t so overbearing and rude.
DEIDRE SAYS: Deliberately and publicly humiliating you is a form of emotional abuse and it’s especially damaging for your children when he does it in front of them.
He may feel threatened or jealous of the close relationship you have with your family, but neither of these explanations excuse his behaviour.
Tell him that you are no longer prepared to put up with his behaviour and you will have to think about leaving the relationship if things don’t change.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you to talk to him.