I told my daughter I am jealous she is happy with her boyfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: INSTEAD of being happy and excited when my daughter told me she had a boyfriend, I blurted out that I was unhappy and knew it meant she’d be spending more time away from me.

I’m a 48-year-old single mum. My daughter’s 23 and her boyfriend is 25.

I now feel so embarrassed about my reaction.

I have met her boyfriend and he seems lovely.

To my shame, I was overcome with jealousy and I really upset my daughter with my selfish reaction.

I love my daughter so very much and I want to spend as much time with her as I can, but how do I get over my insecurity?

I want her to be happy and healthy.

I don’t want to be someone who holds her back.

She is my only child after my husband, her dad, died over a decade ago. I need to stop being so selfish, but for some reason I don’t know how.

I have apologised to my daughter but I am still worried that she will be spending all her free time and her holidays with him instead of me, and that is something which scares me.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not unusual to have these feelings but the fact that you recognise your resentment is very encouraging.

You need to start making changes, otherwise you risk further alienating your daughter.

Since your husband died, the two of you have depended more than ever on each other.

But your lives are evolving and while it will take time to adjust, with the right steps you will get there.

It would be worth exploring if your jealousy could be rooted in a fear of abandonment.

After the shock of your husband dying, could you be terrified you will also lose your daughter?

Find new interests and friends so you are not so reliant on your daughter.

My support pack Dealing With Jealousy will help.