ALTHOUGH she caused her sister to get a divorce from her husband, one woman said she doesn’t think all the blame rests on her.
While she may have slept with her sister’s husband, she says her sister was also partly to blame.
The anonymous Redditor u/Estimate-Kind shared the story in a post.
The 29-year-old explained she found herself in a “complicated” and “difficult” situation with her older sister after she was caught sleeping with her brother-in-law.
“I genuinely believe that I am not solely to blame for the fallout and I need an impartial judgment on whether I am the a**hole in this scenario,” she wrote.
She explained that before she had done the deed, she noticed some “questionable behavior” from her brother-in-law.
“Feeling concerned about my sister’s well-being, I decided to address the issue with her. However, she dismissed my concerns, leaving me unsure of how to proceed,” she said.
Her flight attendant sister had asked her to keep her recently laid-off husband company while she was away for work.
“She trusted me and didn’t believe the warnings that I gave her before about his behavior towards me but I saw this as an opportunity to support their marriage and help them rebuild their connection,” she said.
“Unfortunately, as we spent more time together, our bond deepened, and we eventually crossed a line that should never have been crossed.”
After a few drinks, her brother-in-law confided in her about his marriage woes.
“One thing led to another and we did the unthinkable. I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened,” she said.
“We’d both were so intoxicated that we stupidly ended up falling asleep. I awoke to my sister screaming and hitting the both of us screaming ‘How could you do this to me? We’re sisters I trusted you?'”
Since the incident, her sister refuses to speak to her and her parents have taken her sister’s side.
Although she does feel “a sense of guilt and remorse” and although her parents believe that she’s “violated every family moral,” she believes there are two sides to every story.
“There are multiple factors at play here, and I am not the only one responsible for the breakdown of their marriage,” she said.
“While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.”
People in the comments felt that her argument needed a little bit of work.
“If it was failing, then your job was to help your sister get through this and guide her towards counseling or a divorce,” said one commenter.
“Instead you guided your way into his pants. I think it’s more to the story and the more to the story is you had feelings for the BIL for a while and this ‘drunk’ behavior made you act on it.”
“YTA. You slept with your sister’s husband and somehow you want to blame HER for it. Worse than that you want Reddit to validate your insane logic,” said another.
“YTA. Regardless of the issues, you betrayed your sister by deciding to sleep with her now ex-husband. Literally, what compelled you to do this, and what made you think it was a good idea?” agreed a third.
After some reflection, the Redditor explained that she “genuinely regrets” her behavior and that there was “no excuse” for what she did.
“Last night after reading comments, I mustered up the courage to reach out and apologize to my sister,” she said.
“Unfortunately, despite my sincere efforts, she has not only refused to speak to me but has also blocked me from all forms of communication.”
Since the incident, she’s discovered that her ex-brother-in-law has refused to pick up her calls and has told her mother that she was the one who initiated sex, forcing herself on him after getting him drunk.
Calling out his lies as being “further from the truth,” she was in shock and started taking therapy to find out the root of her behavior.
“I can’t believe he’d through me under the bus after I was there for him for so long. Guess I really looked like the fool huh?” she said.
“While I hold onto hope that one day my sister will be willing to reopen the lines of communication, I also acknowledge the possibility that she may never want to speak to me again.
“Regardless, I will continue to grow, learn, and reflect on my actions, knowing that healing and reconciliation are processes that cannot be rushed or forced.”
