If you’ve found yourself sleeping without your partner whether it’s in separate beds or even just consistently going to bed at different times, you could be experiencing what Sleepseeker’s sleep expert Kora Habinakova describes as a “sleep divorce.”
However, it may not actually be all that bad. In fact, it could be exactly what you need to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. While it does seem against everything that we know about relationships and sharing a bed, it can be particularly healthy if you or your partner:
Have different sleeping patterns
Are light sleepers
Are restless sleepers
Prefer different temperatures
Snore
Have young children
Have sleep apnoea
In fact, if you are struggling with sharing a bed for any reason, you may consider trialling your own sleep divorce.
Habinakova says: “if you find yourself losing sleep due to you or your partner’s habits, sleeping separately could be the perfect way to help both of you feel more rested and actually reduce conflict.”
According to Habinakova, many couples opt to do this just throughout the week when routines are rigid and a full night’s sleep is essential to meeting deadlines and being as alert as we can for work, the school run, etc. These couples then opt to spend their weekend nights together when routines are a little more flexible and life is less demanding.
To stay close even when sleeping separately, Habinakova recommends keeping to pre-bed rituals. This could be watching your favourite show, enjoying dinner together or even going for an evening walk. This will help to maintain intimacy and closeness while you are sleeping apart.
If you’re still feeling curious but not quite ready to take the leap, Habinakova recommends that if your issue isn’t snoring or different sleeping patterns, you could try having two beds in one room.
She is also keen to note that: “A sleep divorce may not be for everyone, but if you find your lack of sleep negatively impacts your relationship try implementing it for a few weeks.”
It’s worth a try, right?
If you continue to have problems sleeping, speak to your GP for support.
