My boyfriend told me to put his cheating in the past and move on – I can’t trust him
DEAR DEIDRE: FINDING out my boyfriend slept with his ex was devastating enough but when he instructed me to put it in the past and move on, I lost it.
I’m 44 and he’s 46. We have been together two years, but were friends before.
He has lied to me so much. I’ve caught him out on it each time.
He promises he won’t do it again and apologises but nothing changes.
I recently discovered he’d been sleeping with his ex. I can’t trust him.
I told him I was leaving and he begged me to stay. This isn’t the first time this has happened.
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I have questions but, if I ask him anything, he brushes me off and tells me to forget it.
He gets the hump and goes to bed or changes the subject.
It’s been a few weeks but I think about it constantly. It’s damaging my mental health.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s time to try to understand why you have put up with his lies for so long while ignoring the signs that he isn’t willing to commit to you.
By repeatedly accepting his behaviour you send him the message that you will settle for less.
His deception is further damaging your self-esteem.
My guess is he is an emotionally damaged man, incapable of commitment – someone who will never bring you happiness.
My support packs Can’t Be Faithful and Raising Self-esteem can help, but it’s clear you deserve more.