An Upside To Being Insane: Chef Boyardee Has Announced That SpaghettiOs Taste Even Better If You’re Severely Mentally Ill
If you’re absolutely batshit bonkers, we’ve got some great news for you: Chef Boyardee has announced that SpaghettiOs taste even better if you’re severely mentally ill.
Booyah! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a rare win for those with crippling mental illness.
In a press release issued this morning, Chef Boyardee revealed that according to years of testing and user feedback, all SpaghettiOs varieties including Original, SpaghettiOs with Meatballs, and especially SpaghettiOs with Franks taste way better when your brain chemistry is a total horror show. It read, “SpaghettiOs is proud to be the only canned pasta (and as far as we can tell, food) which actually tastes significantly better when you’re suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD, phobias, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, addiction, OCD, and any number of other mental disorders and diseases.”
It continued, “Our evidence shows that if you have a normal brain, SpaghettiOs are only okay or even a little bit gross. But if you’re all out of whack in the mental health department, they are one of the best-tasting things you can microwave for one minute and spoon into your mouth. Those affected by mental illness have difficult lives, so we hope these communities find solace in this rare light in the dark tunnel that is their psychological turmoil.”
Badass! Your move, Kraft Singles!
While no one would ever claim that being mentally ill is enjoyable, this one rare benefit to insanity has to come as great news to the millions of people around the world who suffer from mental illness and have access to SpaghettiOs. So if you’re heavily medicated for some pretty major brain problems, go grab yourself a can and enjoy its extra-good taste. You deserve it, nutjob.