Magical UK island with empty Caribbean beaches where cars are banned and there are no clocks or TVs

“YOU’RE going where?” was the baffled reaction from several friends when I told them about my trip to the island of Herm.

I can’t blame them. Until a couple of months before, I’d never heard of the magical island in the English Channel either.

It’s a tiny chunk of paradise with white sand beaches, reached via a 15-minute boat ride from Guernsey.

Cars are banned, groceries must be ordered several days in advance and the sole hotel has no clocks, phones or televisions.

It takes less than two hours to walk around the entire island.

Herm has incredible sandy shores, including Shell Beach, which looks like it belongs in the Caribbean.

Stretching to nearly three quarters of a mile, its exotic white sand is thanks to the millions of tiny shell fragments washed in from the Gulf Stream that give it its name.

Dolphins are regularly spotted in the turquoise waters and have been known to swim in among the bathers on a summer’s day, while seals lounge on the rocks offshore.

After three hours of sandcastle-building on an empty beach, we rewarded ourselves with Aperol spritzes and ice creams at possibly the best beach bar in the British Isles.

Shell Beach Cafe might feel like it’s at the end of the world, but it has cheese and charcuterie boards, “pastel de nata” custard tarts, jugs of rum punch and in peak summer, French and Spanish-themed evenings, where it serves up moules et frites or paella with live music.

There is a surprising range of food available on the island, given how tiny it is.

As we hadn’t got our act together enough regarding grocery shopping, we ate at one of the island’s two pubs or in the hotel restaurant each night, dining on everything from smash burgers to fish and chips, oysters to gnocchi and fillet steak.

A six-minute walk from Shell Beach, along an empty coastal path sits another exotic-looking bay, ­Belvoir Beach, whose white sands are known to attract sunbathing seals.

Stress-free walks

Heading inland, sandy lanes criss-cross through stonewall-edged fields and bluebell-dense woodland, taking you from one side of the island to the other in 20 minutes.

Meandering is stress-free thanks to the lack of vehicles and the fact that it’s impossible to lose your way.

As one islander told us: “If you get lost, just walk along the sea and you’ll soon find yourself in a spot you recognise.”

This is Swallows And Amazons-style life, with just 85 year-round residents, served by one special constable, two pubs, possibly the world’s tiniest fire station and a primary school with four pupils.

In the summer season, there are 121 camping pitches for seasonal holidaymakers from Guernsey who book a plot for six months a year.

But for those of us not fortunate enough to live a short boat ride away, there’s either the White House hotel or a collection of self-catered apartments in quaint old stone farm buildings, which we opted for.

Our two-bed was basic but ­spotless with amazing sea views, and provided the perfect base for ­exploring the island.

A lot of the apartments and hotels get booked up in peak season, but before and after that there’s plenty of availability and when we visited in early May, we had blue skies every day.

According to the island’s chief executive officer, Craig Senior (yes, that’s really his job), the summer season starts about six weeks earlier than in the UK and ends six weeks after the mainland, with temperatures in the high 20s.

But that’s just one of the many things that makes Herm so special.

Everyone we met during our stay acted like we’d been let in on a great secret by being there.