I can’t cope with the grief as one-year anniversary of mum’s death nears

DEAR DEIDRE: AS the first anniversary of my mum’s death approaches, I feel like I’m disappearing down a dark hole.

The sadness I feel is overwhelming.

I coped well with my first Christmas after her passing so don’t understand why this anniversary has knocked me sideways like this.

I am a 56-year-old single parent. I have two sons, aged 19 and 17.

I relied on my mum so much after my divorce and she was always there for me and my boys.

She was diagnosed with cancer and died a year later.

I thought I would have had more time with her. I wasn’t prepared at all for her death.

I have talked to my boys about grief and how it affects us but they seem to be coping much better than me.

I didn’t cry this much when I scattered her ashes two months ago.

What can I do to pull myself out of this misery? I’m worried I won’t be able to pick myself up.

DEIDRE SAYS: You have done so well but the anniversary is a powerful reminder of what you have lost.

Many bereaved people find anticipation of the anniversary is worse than the day itself.

Plan what you will do and perhaps create a ritual, alone or with your boys.

You could light candles, look at photos of happier times or buy a bunch of her favourite flowers.

Whatever you do, take time to accept the tough journey you have been on.