You helped me when I found out my wife was having an affair
DEAR DEIDRE: I found out my wife was having an affair when she was named as a co-respondent in a divorce case.
It was a huge shock, after 30 years of marriage.
I’m 57 and she’s 55.
We’d been having problems and had stopped having sex, but I thought it was because of her age, not because she was getting it elsewhere.
When the legal letter came, it was a dreadful betrayal, and I was utterly devastated.
She wanted me to forgive and forget, but I wasn’t sure if I could.
I wrote asking for your advice.
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You were so understanding and didn’t try to direct my decision, recommending couples counselling for clarity and sending your support pack about it.
You also suggested I contact Family Action (family-action.org.uk, 0808 802 6666) for free advice on family issues.
Unfortunately, my wife refused to have counselling, which showed me she wasn’t serious about working at our marriage. But it did help me a lot.
I’m now in the process of divorcing her – again using your helpful Thinking Of Divorce support pack for guidance.
Thank you for helping me move on.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Sometimes, sad as it is, divorce is the best option. It sounds like you are coping well and I wish you every happiness.