I stole some money from a close friend but I feel so ashamed of what I did
DEAR DEIDRE: MORE than 20 years ago I stole some money – but it has come back to haunt me.
I feel so ashamed about it.
I’m a 39-year-old man.
Years ago when I was at university I visited a family friend who lived nearby.
He offered me a meal which I gladly accepted.
While he was out of the room I took some money from the table.
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Looking back, he must have known I had stolen it because I was the only person at the table.
He didn’t confront me and I would have denied it anyway.
It wasn’t in my nature to steal, but I was struggling as a student and was often hungry.
I know it is no excuse.
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I have been thinking about it recently.
I can’t even apologise because this family friend died a few years ago.
Hardly a day goes by without me asking him in my head to forgive me.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t beat yourself up because your guilt will consume you.
You can’t change the past.
What’s done is done.
We can all do things we later regret, but this doesn’t make us bad people.
Your situation back then was dire.
It’s possible he realised you took it but decided not to confront you, knowing you were struggling.
It is good to take stock of these events and learn from them.
My support pack Feeling Guilty? will help you to move on from this.