12 Questions I Have About the Eliminations on House of Villains

E! Network’s House of Villains has positioned itself as your one-stop shop for cartoonish reality moments. It’s the only show that said “Yeah, let’s give Omarosa a chance” after the Trump administration. It’s also the only show with the balls to let someone call that same Omarosa a “Republican cunt.” Thank you, New York. As Vulture’s recapper said, Tiffany Pollard should always be on TV.

House of Villains follows a pretty standard reality-TV format. There are challenges, immunity, and an elimination round. But it broke the mold with the setup surrounding elimination. Two former reality stars on the chopping block are strapped into chairs. They plead with their captors, and one is spared. The other is yeeted into darkness. Behold!

This is truly an innovation in the reality-televisual arts. Seeing Jax Taylor disappear into the void is my (and about half the cast of Vanderpump Rules’) devoutest wish. But, logistically, the whole thing raises some questions. With the season-finale airing tonight, it’s the perfect time for production to weigh in. Can y’all make a behind-the-scenes bonus ep and address these real quick?

➽ How long are folks strapped in before the actual yeeting takes place? And for how long after?

➽ Whose job is it to unstrap the loser? Do they see to the winner first?

➽ Has anyone pissed themself? Sorry, but my first thought seeing this rig and knowing what I know about unscripted TV production was I bet you $7 someone will forget a celeb is strapped into this thing and that celeb will go number one in desperation/protest.

➽ Is the mechanism to yoink the loser back fully automated, or is it Teamsters pulling the damn thing like the door in the first Star Trek series?

➽ Why did Joel McHale go for sneakers with his hosting look? They make his pants break at a weird angle.

➽ Is it loud?

➽ Is it dark in the void?

➽ Part of the gag is that the stars are cut off mid farewell speech. Do producers, cast members, whoever feel weird about giving Jax Taylor less grace than, like, Marie Antoinette going to the guillotine?

➽ How often do you think about Marie Antoinette allegedly apologizing to her executioner for stepping on his foot? Because I think about it often.

➽ The rig is dressed to look like an electric chair, but then the person just tilts back into oblivion. Did any producers think about maybe flashing a few lights, to indicate electrocution? Or is the point to make the whole thing completely divorced from reality?

➽ Who came up with letting one of the cast members be the one to activate the chair? Promote them.

➽ Not a question but a comment: The Hit List finalists should get a last meal while the villains vote about them. Let them personalize it! Make it a TikTok!