I'm 11 years older than my boyfriend. We froze our embryos because my biological clock's ticking faster than his.

• At the age of 38, Jennifer Klesman is 11 years older than her boyfriend, Derek Moore, 27.
• She said that it isn't really an issue since the couple are "the same mental and emotional age."
• Still, they had IVF and froze the embryos in the hope of starting a family in the future.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jennifer Klesman. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I started chatting with my boyfriend, Derek, on the Bumble dating app in July 2022.

I'd been single for about a year. At the age of 36, I'd had some luck looking for people in their 30s, but I decided to play around with my "seeking age range" filter.

It seemed to make sense that guys in their 30s would be more ready for a serious relationship — something I wanted for myself. But a lot of the people I met weren't sure about what they wanted in life. The commitment wasn't there.

But I didn't want to generalize. I thought that some 29-year-olds and 28-year-olds would be mature and have their lives together.

I swiped right as soon as I saw Derek, but I didn't notice that he was 26 until I revisited his profile after we matched. He was newly single and hadn't set an age range for his matches yet.

We addressed the age difference right out of the gate. "I'm not usually into dating guys in their 20s," I joked. "This is all new to me, too," he said.

The conversation was easy and felt comfortable

He said that it would only be weird if we made it weird. "I'm going to give him a shot," I thought.

It turned out that we lived pretty close. We went to a patio bar. He was about a foot taller than me. I don't usually go for extremely tall guys. But I still thought he was attractive.

The conversation was easy. He wasn't as immature as I'd expected. I suppose I didn't expect someone that age to just listen and not talk about themselves a lot. Instead, he asked lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me.

I'm a therapist and author with a master's degree and he's a program developer. I value education. Derek said that he felt the same way.

We kept wanting to see each other more. Initially, I wasn't quite sure how serious he was. I thought that he was just having fun. I guess I was measuring him up as we went, thinking, "This guy has got a lot of potential."

But I was more conscious of the age difference. I knew that I only had so many more years to start a family and if nothing came of things, it would be more wasted time.

People sometimes get engaged after a year in their 30s. But when you're in your 20s, that's extremely fast. I remember coming home one night after a date with Derek, thinking, "Are we on different timelines?"

I asked him about it. "I don't care that you're older," he said, without hesitation.

Time went on and we realized we had a lot of shared interests. Derek has an older brother around the same age as me. He got a lot of his cultural references from him. We liked the same music — including bands like Metallica. We were both into South Park.

We've always been open with each other about having kids

We joke that we can split the difference between our ages. Each of us is mentally and emotionally about 30 years old. He feels older. I feel younger.

And, while I don't want to toot my own horn, I don't think that I look my age. I'm big into sunscreen.

Derek and I had always been open with each other about the issue of having kids. "I want a family in my future some day," he told me.

Meanwhile, a lot of my co-workers were having children — or experiencing trouble having children. They were undergoing treatments like IVF.

"Why don't you consider freezing your eggs?" a colleague asked me. I was torn. I'd always assumed that I would just take my chances.

I mentioned it to Derek, and he told me that he'd already been looking into the idea of embryo freezing.

Then, over dinner one night, I said, "Would you actually do this?" I said it would be a huge commitment, especially because he was still in his 20s.

He said that he understood the gravity of the decision. Then he agreed. We did two rounds of IVF in the spring of 2023 that led to seven viable embryos being fertilized.

It was a strange process because we weren't married and hadn't been together long. And there we were looking at pregnancy. We signed a legal form saying that, even if we didn't work out as a couple, the embryos would be mine.

"If that's your last chance of having a kid, I wouldn't want to take that away from you," Derek told me. It was tough. "If we don't work out, we'll just get rid of the embryos," I thought at first. "I don't really want to have my ex's kids."

I'd really like to be pregnant by the time I'm 40.

As for our relationship, it's flourishing. We have healthy communication. If we ever have disagreements, we try to problem-solve to stop it from happening again.

There's a timeline in terms of having a kid. Derek and I keep that in mind. But our age gap doesn't define what we have.

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