DEAR DEIDRE: My partner emerged from a store room looking guilty and dishevelled, making me certain she is having secret sex, but I can’t prove it.
We work for an animal rescue charity. I handle the accounts and my partner works directly with the animals.
I’m a guy of 31 and she’s 28. Before we got together at our charity summer barbecue she had been dating another colleague but told me their relationship “fizzled out”.
He’s 30 and has a reputation for playing the field. I guess women find his good looks combined with his love of animals very attractive.
My partner moved in with me six weeks ago and it’s been really great.
Our sex life is good and we have both said we want a future together.
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I sometimes look from my window at work and see her walking a dog with her ex.
They look comfortable together. She’s always talking about him and likes his Instagram posts.
Sometimes she’ll laugh and when I ask what she’s laughing at, she’ll say he has sent a funny message.
She works shifts and if I go back to the sanctuary to pick her up, he’s often doing the same shifts as her.
I went into her office yesterday to see if she fancied having lunch but she wasn’t there.
Her colleague looked awkward and shuffled around in her seat, saying that she was “in the store room”.
She walked back into the office at that moment, looking flustered, closely followed by her ex, who quickly said: “Right, I’ll order more cat food then.”
Could she still have a thing for him?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: She may have, but you have no proof. Being positive about it, the relationship with her ex “fizzled out”.
He’s history. He’s a player, which your girlfriend will know.
She has moved in with you, so she is serious about wanting your relationship to work.
They may still be friends and what you saw when they came out of the storage room may not have been what anyone else saw.
It’s no good bottling it up because you’re overthinking everything and making yourself miserable. You’ll have to ask her.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself explains how to start difficult conversations and a second one, Relationship MOT, will ensure you get the best out of what you have together.
