DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been sneaking off for fantastic sex with my best mate’s brother – and lying to my boyfriend about where I have been.
The guilt I feel towards my boyfriend just isn’t strong enough to cancel out the animal lust I have for my fling.
I simply can’t help myself.
I am 25, my boyfriend is 27 and we have been together for four years.
I was always in trouble in my late teens and early twenties and my boyfriend was incredible.
He stood by me and turned my life around.
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But when I bumped into my mate’s brother at a birthday party I was surprised at how attractive I found him.
It was clear after a night of mutual flirting that he felt the same way.
We met again soon afterwards in a pub, by chance. He looked even fitter than before and I went straight over to him.
At the end of the night we shared a kiss and then went to a hotel and booked a room.
We had amazing sex. I had no idea men could be so intense and intuitive like that.
He exhausted me and still wanted more.
I often sleep at a mate’s flat after a night out, so my boyfriend didn’t find it unusual that I didn’t come back.
My new bloke and I have been meeting regularly since, sometimes for sex and sometimes for proper dates.
Now this guy has told me he loves me and I know I feel the same way.
He says he will wait for me to finish with my boyfriend and promises not to rush me.
I want to be with him more than anything but I cannot bear to hurt my boyfriend — especially as I owe him so much.
I dread to think where I’d have ended up if it was not for him.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend sounds like a lovely man, who doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.
Still, you cannot live your whole life as a lie so it is inevitable that you will hurt him sooner or later. Sooner probably means less pain for him.
Sometimes relationships are based on one person’s need and the other fulfilling that need.
Your boyfriend was there when you badly needed someone to help you through.
Now you are back on your feet and do not have the same problems.
You are no longer a “wild child” and you feel ready to move on. Nothing stays the same for ever.
Be sure to tell your boyfriend how special he is and how highly you think of him.
And then give him the respect he deserves, and explain your feelings have changed.
My Support Pack How To End A Relationship will help you to find the right words.
