I’m desperate to build a life with my boyfriend but we live 70 miles apart
DEAR DEIDRE: ALL I want is to build a future with my long-distance boyfriend, but he refuses to move across the country to be with me.
I’m 32, he’s 35 and we’ve been together for four years after meeting on holiday.
We live 70 miles apart but see each other on weekends and during holidays.
Despite the distance, we’ve managed to go from strength to strength but over time we’ve both become pretty fed up with this arrangement and are ready for the next step.
The only problem is neither of us are willing to move to the other.
We’ve both spoken about how much we want to get married and start a family together, but at this point, I’m beginning to think it’s merely a pipe dream.
He says that he can’t leave because of his job but I’m a primary carer for my mum so I have no flexibility either.
I love him and the last thing I want is to break up but I’m starting to think that might be the only answer.
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DEIDRE SAYS: While you’ve made long-distance work for this long, something needs to change or your relationship will never progress.
It’s understandable that neither of you want to uproot your life but if this relationship has any chance of a future, a compromise will need to be made.
Either one person has to give in or you both have to compromise.
Perhaps you can both move somewhere in between? My support pack Looking After Your Relationship has useful tips.