Can’t Bring Him Anywhere: Dad Got A Nosebleed Trying To Signal The Waiter’s Attention Telepathically 

Dad really has no chill sometimes. Leave it to him to turn a pleasant dining experience into a full-on cringe fest: Dad got a nosebleed trying to signal the waiter’s attention telepathically.

Ugh. First it’s the corny jokes about not liking his meal as the waiter took away his empty plate, now this. Why can’t Dad just behave in restaurants?!

Instead of waiting to ask for the check until our waiter had finished serving another table like any normal person would, Dad felt the need to press his fingers to his temple, stare the waiter down, hold his breath, and attempt to request our bill using only the power of his mind. No matter how much we pled for him to stop, Dad continued using all his mental focus to transfer his thoughts to this poor server’s brain until his face went red and his bulging neck veins looked ready to explode…and just when we thought it couldn’t get anymore mortifying, blood began trickling out of his nose, all over the table and his shirt. Now Mom’s reprimanding Dad for trying his psychic crap before even finishing the telepathy tutorial video he found on YouTube earlier this week, and she’s talking loud enough to attract the attention of all the tables around us.

Ugh. We’re officially so embarrassed we want to die.

And guess what? Dad, who is literally bleeding out of his face and swatting away Mom’s hand as she dabs the blood off his shirt with a wet napkin, has not quit trying to transmit mental messages to the waiter, even though it looks like he’s about to pass out, and—oh God…the waiter just exploded. Dad accidentally made the waiter explode with his mind. All because he didn’t want to wait, like, two more minutes to pay the check. Great. Just great. Awesome work making a whole scene, Dad.

God, why did Dad have to turn this into a huge, awkward thing? We can’t take this man anywhere.

Well, thanks to Dad, we can never eat here again, which is a shame because the food was great and the waiter was super nice until he exploded. If anyone at this restaurant asks? The middle-aged guy who’s really bad at telepathy is not with us.