Because there’s no limit to the fun and destruction that can be generated with a hydraulic press, Finnish workshop owner Lauri Vuohensilta of the Hydraulic Press Channel created a custom tool for his press called the Impaler 10,000,000. The Impaler features a pointed cone-shaped pressing head, which is received below by a negative space of the same shape for MAXIMUM IMPALEMENT. Honestly, I’m getting nervous just looking at it.
Lauri described the impaler’s action as a three-part process: first, the spiking, then some traditional crushing action, and finally, extrusion. In the video, he impales a variety of objects, including a bunch of fruit with googly eyes, crayons, candles, books, toys, and other household objects. I’d pop some popcorn and watch it on the big screen if I were you.
Did I ask for a hydraulic press for Christmas? Of course I did. Will I get one? Not a chance. My wife knows me far too well to think that me and a hydraulic press is a combination that could end in anything but absolute disaster. Which is why I need you to get me one and say it’s from Santa.
