You know when you really hit it off with a guy, only to discover once his clothes come off that he’s packing something… interesting? It happens way more often than you think, but it shouldn’t be a reason to run for the door. We’re here to dispel some pervasive myths about penis size and give you the best sex positions for any penis size or shape.
The first thing to know is that penis size is “generally irrelevant to pleasure” for all partners involved, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SheKnows. “The vast majority of people are perfectly satisfied with their partner’s penis size.” That’s because good sex has involves a lot more than just the size and shape of your physical attributes. “Satisfying sex is about how you connect with your partner in an intimate way,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. According to one study, only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone, so clearly, Switzer says, “satisfying sex is about way more than penetration.” For example: many orgasms come from stimulating the clitoris, “the most direct route to orgasm for many people” with vaginas, Dr. Jess says; or the prostate, which Dr. Jess calls the “equivalent to the G-spot” and which can be stimulated at “a relatively shallow depth.”
On that note, know that bigger is not necessarily better when it comes to penis size. “As the cliche saying goes: ‘it’s not the size, it’s how you use it’ and that certainly applies to penis size,” Switzer says. The average size of an erection is about five inches, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, which can be a perfectly pleasurable size for many receiving partners. “If you’re having sex with a vagina, it’s unlikely that you need a long penis,” Dr. Jess explains. “The average vaginal canal is around 3.5 inches in an unaroused state. A good fit is far more relevant to pleasure than a longer or thicker penis.” Some receiving partners even find penetrative sex with a large penis to be painful, but know that this doesn’t need to be the case either — we’ll have some comfortable options for larger penises ahead.
When it comes to penetrative sex with a penis, it’s really all about communication and experimentation to find what brings both you and your partner(s) the most pleasure, no matter what size of penis you’re working with. All penises are capable of delivering fantastic orgasms if you know what to do with them, and that’s where we come in. Check out the best, expert-approved sex positions for different penis sizes ahead.
Our culture tends to idealize long penises because they penetrate deeper, but for some receiving partners, that kind of depth can be uncomfortable or painful. For longer penises, Dr. Jess and Dr. Tara both recommended doggy style, as the penetrating partner’s butt will provide some natural cushioning to reduce the depth of penetration. (If reducing the depth detracts from your pleasure, Dr. Jess recommended using a donut product like OhNut.) Switzer also recommends missionary and Yab Yum as positions that “utilize the length for pleasure without causing too much intensity.”
You have a few different options with a smaller penis. Dr. Jess recommends letting the receiving partner ride on top (like in cowgirl) “so that they can control the angle of penetration and depth,” while Dr. Tara suggested lifted missionary — basically missionary but with a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips, “so that it is at an optimum angle for you to insert as deeply as you can.” Some other options, Switzer says, are doggy style and happy baby. “Great ways to give sensations to different angles of the vaginal canal,” she explains. “And honestly, small penises are great to try anal!”
Doggy style is also a good choice for thinner girth, Dr. Tara says. She also recommends cowgirl, which allows the receiving partner to ride the penis and feel their way to the most pleasurable spots. You can also play with G-spot stimulation with the hips-up missionary-style position, says Dr. Jess, where the receiving partner lies on the their back with a pillow propping up their hips and the penetrating partner kneels between their legs to slide in from below.
With a thick penis, look for positions where the receiving partner can spread their legs wide. A closed-legs position can make it “even harder to penetrate,” Dr. Tara explains, “which can be painful” for the receiving partner. Traditional missionary and variations on it, like scissors, can be a good choice here, and Dr. Jess recommends playing with external stimulation by angling the penis to rub against the receiving partner’s clitoral head. In missionary, for example, the penetrating partner should “put your legs on the outside and slide up and down as your slide in and out,” she explains. “This allows them to feel extra friction from your girth while their legs are in between yours.”
For scissors, try lying on your sides facing each other, with your heads at opposite ends of the bed. The penetrating partner puts one leg between the receiving partner’s and penetrates while the receiving partner rolls slightly backward, keeping their pelvis spread wide apart.
This really depends on the curve angle. If it curves up, missionary is best; if it curves down, doggy style. However, if you lilt to the left or right, you might wanted to go for spooning. You both lie on your sides, knees at an almost 90-degree angle. He lifts your legs and penetrates from behind, all the while both pressing your legs together to keep things snug.
A version of this article was originally published in 2015.
Here are 69 (nice) more sex positions we think you should try:
