ASHLEY Cain has revealed that he feels ‘guilty’ ahead of becoming a dad again – two years after the death of his baby daughter.
The reality star, 33, is set to welcome a boy in January with his close friend after tragically losing his daughter – Azaylia Diamond Cain – to a rare form of cancer in April 2021.
Ashley, who split from Azaylia’s mum Safiyya Vorajee last year, told The Sun on Sunday: “When I think about being a daddy again and bringing my son into this world – obviously I do feel guilty because I wish and pray that Azaylia could be here as well.
“I know that Azaylia would have been the most incredible big sister in the world because she is a fighter – strong and courageous.”
Fighting back tears, he said: “It is tough. Life is tough and everyday for me is tough – as soon as he is old enough I want to take him down to Azaylia’s resting place.
“I want him to know who his big sister is and I want him to understand what she has done for this world.”
Ashley broke down in tears as he spoke of visiting his daughter’s grave to tell her that she was going to be a big sister.
Ashley said: “The first thing that I did was go down to Azaylia’s resting place to talk to her about it.
“I believe that was a huge part that has allowed me to feel positive about it. I feel like she was the main person that I needed to speak to and to get this thing off my chest.
“After going to her resting place and speaking to her about it, I just had a feeling in my heart and in my soul that she was happy for me.
“She was happy that she had a little brother and it is now just someone else for her to watch over and protect in this world.”
Ashley said it was important for him to find out the sex of their baby ahead of their due date next month.
He said: “In the back of my head I didn’t really know how to deal or cope with it if it was a little girl. It could have been fine but it could have been heartbreak all over again and I wasn’t sure.
“The truth is that if it was a little girl she would still be a blessing and I would still be over the moon and the best daddy – it would just be another bit of pain to navigate.
“Now it means I have a little girl and a little boy which is perfect for me.”
