Just getting ready for the Big Show
The first ACC/SEC Challenge fires up on Tuesday and it should be interesting. We’re going to start with a few ruminations now and get into specific matchups on Game Days.
Mississippi State is coached by Chris Jans, who started his D-I career at Bowling Green. He only lasted one year though. Why? Did he lose?
Well, no. He won actually. But he did get drunk after the season ended and acted inappropriately at a bar. Bowling Green saw the video and fired him for violating a morals clause. The women of Bowling Green were no doubt pleased and relieved.
He spent a couple of years after that working at the Gregg Marshall Character Finishing School at Wichita State, so naturally New Mexico State hired him in 2017 where he helped lay the groundwork and build the culture for the disastrous scandals that hit the school recently. There’s no arguing that he wins though: his JUCO winning percentage is .779 and his NCAA percentage is .748.
South Carolina had a moment with Frank Martin, making the Final Four in 2016-17 (and beating Duke along the way) but the Gamecocks never made the postseason again under Martin, who was let go in 2022.
South Carolina hired Lamont Paris from Chattanooga to replace Martin. Trivia: his predecessor at Chattanooga left for UMass. Martin ended up replacing that coach at UMass after being canned in Columbia.
Paris finished his first season at USC 11-21; so far this year, the ‘Cocks (hey, it’s their thing, send complaints to stupidchicken@USCAthletics.com) are 5-0. However, the only reasonable team they’ve played is Virginia Tech and they did win that one. The other games are against turkeys USC Upstate (3-5), VMI (2-5), DePaul (1-5) and Grand Canyon (4-1).
Grand Canyon actually takes the game seriously, but still: this is not a schedule that screams I’M CONFIDENT DAMMIT!
LSU is still getting past the Will Wade/Joe Alleva era and all we can say is: we’re sure glad he’s not hiring our next football coach. Then again, LSU hired Scott Woodward away from Texas A&M, where he he gave Jimbo Fisher a huge deal. Fisher was recently let go - a highlight of his A&M career was being stupid enough to schedule App State and then losing to the Mountaineers. Now he is owed $76 million. That’s going to take a minute.
Woodward hired Matt McMahon (who graduated from App State) to replace Wade. His first year in Red Stick, the Tigers finished 14-19.
So far this year, LSU has beaten Missippi Valley State, then lost to Nichols and Dayton. They have a three-game win streak against North Texas, Weak Forest (it appears to be time for this to return) and North Florida. The charming fans at Syracuse eagerly await their guests from the bayou.
Here’s a pretty hilarious thought: Miami might be paying more for basketball players than Kentucky ever has. What a country!
Mizzou is having a renaissance of sorts with football being competitive and basketball on the way too. Dennis Gates, who toiled for Leonard Hamilton from 2011-2019, was 25-10 in his first season and is 5-2 so far this year.
However, like most schools, there is no scheduling glory: the only decent team he’s played to date is Memphis, where the starters are all nearly old enough to remember 9/11. Seriously!
Well, correction: he also played Minnesota, but calling them decent is a bit of a stretch. They do play in the Big Ten, but since the Big Ten is being mocked for how the conference has started the season, a loss to Memphis might be more instructive than a win over Minnesota.
If you ever wonder why we sometimes call the SEC the Situational Ethics Conference, look around: Jans coaches at Mississippi State, LSU fans fought for Will Wade and his big-ass offers, and Ole Miss eagerly hired Chris Beard after he was accused of beating and choking his fiancee. Oh, and course Bruce Pearl, who got in trouble at Tennessee for lying to the NCAA about potential violations. Speaking of Tennessee, Pearl was replaced Donnie Tyndall, alleged love child of the late Big Bopper (just kidding, but he does look like him) and he got a 10-year show cause penalty. And former football coach Jeremy Pruitt got his own show cause.
That was all in about a decade. Impressive, even by SEC standards. Tyndall’s show-cause runs out in 2026, incidentally.
Oh wait! We completely forgot about Alabama and the death of Jamea Harris.
Well, death is a bit kind; she was murdered, allegedly by a friend of Darius Miles, a (former) Alabama forward. Charlotte Hornets rookie Brandon Robinson is accused of bringing a gun to Miles. The friend, Michael Davis, is accused of being the triggerman. Both are charged with murder.
Nate Oats was last year’s winner of the Dave Bliss Award for the most morally obtuse coach in the business, or he would have been if the award only existed.
Anyways, here are the matchups. Forecast coming soon!
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
