Generally speaking, I would find it hard to find joy in a new law favored by the current regime in Florida.
I didn’t really care all that much for Florida even before it had a governor and a Legislature who ban AP Black History and engage in silly fights with supposedly woke Disney, a massive employer in that state.
Florida is best visited from afar by turning the pages of a biting, hilarious Carl Hiassen novel about mighty pythons, bimbo first ladies and the best Florida ex-governor ever, Clinton Tyree, aka Skink, who abandons politics for a life of eco-terrorism and road-kill meals deep in the Everglades.
And of course part of my Florida discontent is the natural rivalry between the Golden State and the Sunshine State, vying for tourist dollars from opposite sides of the continent. Still, over the years I’ve made two fun visits to the Tampa area, and would love to someday see the Keys.
The Florida law enacted this past May that I can’t help love is a simple one that I hope all the other 49 will pass copycat versions of: It bans students from using their cellphones during class time on public school campuses in the state.
Just that. Hit the books and the Chromebooks and the whiteboard. Talk among yourselves, when appropriate, and even with the teacher. But for once in your young life, the phone is off. Completely.
Does wonders for the concentration, I’m sure.
Because the contradictory part about my spirited support for such legislation is that I of course haven’t turned my own phone off in years, fearful that I wouldn’t be able to immediately Google some arcana in order to settle a bar bet, or just unwilling to be out of touch in that crazy way that smartphones have cleverly addicted us to.
But we’re talking very young people here, with their famously unformed brains. Creative brains, smart as paint, no doubt — but not ones exactly in need of more reasons to lean ADHD.
I’m even in favor of one Florida school district’s experiment with going well beyond the ban on phones during instructional time.
Orange County Public Schools went the Full Monty by forbidding students to use cellphones during the entire school day.
Yes, even at lunch. Imagine the improvement in adolescent posture alone, without screen-craning neck syndrome afflicting all the student body!
There has been a tiny bit of mere acceptance by students and interest in pick-up basketball games around the quad. But most students and even their parents are howling. They’re used to checking in with their kids during the school day, and, really, no wonder: for insane reasons our country almost entirely declines to grapple with, school shootings are a monstrous thing.
The New York Times visited one Orlando high school and found students naturally calling the rule “unfair” but also “infantilizing.” In a classic entitled smart-kid rant, one senior said: “They expect us to take responsibility for our own choices. But then they are taking away the ability for us to make a choice and to learn responsibility.” Smartypants claims she needs her phone during free periods to take online college courses.
The real issue is of course taking the kids away from their social media, not their supposed love of being able to stay in touch with Mom and Dad.
It’s the inability to get to TikTok and Insta for like seven excruciating hours that is at the heart of the howls. I realize that’s got to be rough. But as the old folks say, life is rough. I’d rather see this be a voluntary, honor-code thing. But almost all districts have nominal bans on in-class cell use, and teachers I know say it’s a rule that is almost impossible to enforce.
Larry Wilson is on the Southern California News Group editorial board. lwilson@scng.com
