Courtesy of Emily May
The question, "How did you meet?" usually results in referencing mutual friends or the dating apps many begrudgingly use until they can finally delete them for eternity. But when I prepare to explain how I met my partner, I know everyone is in for a treat. Raves aren't the first thing we often associate with falling in love, but it's how we met, and we're still together almost a decade later.
It was June 3, 2014, in upstate New York. I was home from college for the summer, had sworn off boys forever after a disappointing dating life, and was making some extra money helping my dad with his advertising business. I was listening to a playlist on Pandora when a Skrillex song came on. Coincidentally, a friend had invited me to a concert of his that night in Albany, but I had declined. I suddenly changed my mind and sent a text confirming my attendance before the song ended.
The venue was on brand and chaotic. Electronic dance music always brings out the most creative characters — from hula hoopers and shuffle dancers to fashionistas donning unique, brightly colored, and revealing outfits. These parties were dancing-room only, and you could expect an impressive laser light show the entire time.
I had grown up in a small town lacking in culture and diversity and felt a kinship with other millennials who found a place for self-expression in the dubstep era. At these raves, authority didn't exist — we were the rulers of the castle, a modern play on Woodstock.
My friend and I walked around the venue to see whether I could spot anyone familiar. These were my college stomping grounds, after all. Then I spotted him among the crowd: tall, tattooed, with abs of steel — he wasn't dancing with anyone, just enjoying the music. He wore hiking sneakers and green cotton shorts in true earth-muffin fashion, and something about him left me curious.
I told my friend I needed to talk to him, and she replied with something to the effect of, "It's not worth it." But I had already made up my mind. My only concern was that I'd be barking up the wrong tree. I couldn't fathom that he wouldn't have a girlfriend.
Drunk on the atmosphere, I bumbled my way through introductions. I learned his name was Jakob, and we danced all night at the front of the crowd. We exchanged phone numbers and even got a picture together.
Jakob drove almost three hours to visit me at my mom's house that weekend. It was a bold move for him to meet my family so quickly, but college wasn't in session. Luckily, they all approved and still do. He fit into our dynamic well; our jokes and silliness didn't faze him, and he could even play along.
We spent almost every weekend of that summer together, including two separate weeklong vacations with each of my parents. As the warm months ended, and I was preparing to study abroad in Europe, we agreed that life was better together, even if we were thousands of miles apart. We became boyfriend and girlfriend, and just a few days later, I flew to London for three months.
It was challenging to spend the honeymoon phase of our relationship long-distance — juggling the time difference and conflicting schedules. I recall many nights of staying up later than the other girls in my hall to sit on the kitchen counter in my pajamas and talk to Jakob on the phone, chatting about our days and the cultural differences between London and New York.
But there was also something nice about missing each other. The thought of reuniting was exciting and something we looked forward to every day. When he picked me up from the airport, it felt like we were meeting again for the first time, yet I felt at home in every way.
Courtesy of Emily May
Close to a decade later, Jakob and I are still together. When I look back at the day we met, I see two young people light-years away from who we are today but equally deserving of love. Together, we navigated the ups and downs of our college experiences, from all-nighter assignments and roommate troubles to deciding the direction of our professional futures.
After graduating, we moved to the Big Apple in 2017, where Jakob became a model and personal trainer and I began my marketing career. Working harder than ever, we didn't mind sharing a little shoebox in Brooklyn and bonding over Sunday Trader Joe's trips.
Our journey has taught us that having a healthy foundation is crucial in good times and the most difficult ones. When my dad died in 2021, Jakob cooked me nutritious meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and listened intently, as a best friend does.
Wellness has become the most prominent theme in our partnership, echoing how we communicate, hold space for each other, and dream to be the best versions of ourselves. We also attribute much of our personal growth to traveling and look forward to exploring Brazil together this winter.
Courtesy of Emily May
We continue to share our love of nature, food, travel, and music through the challenges life throws our way, and yes, we have been to another Skrillex concert since.
Jakob always says that we found love in a hopeless place. Where would we be now if 21-year-old me hadn't dared to approach the cute guy in the crowd? It doesn't matter. Skrillex brought us together, and in a world where dating is all about swipes — it's a damn good story.
