DEAR DEIDRE: We run a pub and my husband humiliates me every day in front of our staff and customers – and I think he’s cheating on me with a barmaid.
I’m not the only person to have noticed all this.
I run the kitchen and my husband is front of house. Yesterday I overheard two of the chefs gossiping about him and this woman.
Apparently he goes up behind her and stretches around her to pour drinks, and yesterday she squeezed his bum.
He even gave her a birthday gift I knew nothing about.
The chefs were debating whether I knew about the affair.
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I am 35 and my husband is 37. We have been together for 12 years, married for the last two.
Opening a pub was our dream but since we got it, just after we wed, I’m starting to regret the move.
It’s long hours, he drinks way too much and we are hardly ever together.
He has also gone off having sex with me all of a sudden, and can hardly be bothered to have a conversation with me.
I always ask him how his day has been and he just says something like, “Same old, same old”.
He never asks how it’s been in the kitchen and is constantly distracted.
I’ve wondered about this other woman for a while, but didn’t realise it had become so brazen.
I’ve picked up on people whispering and have spotted furtive nudges aimed at my husband and this woman, but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
After what I heard yesterday, though, I’m now questioning their relationship more than ever.
Am I being paranoid? Should I forget the rumours? Or should I confront him about it?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not being paranoid. His behaviour is suspicious. It isn’t surprising you have doubts about him.
But don’t jump to conclusions. An emotional affair can cause as much pain as a sexual one but talking to him is the only way you’ll find out the truth.
Whatever his answer, you need to be clear that his sexualised behaviour with this woman is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to your relationship.
The flirting needs to stop immediately, at the very minimum.
Tell him you’re feeling anxious about the change in your sex life and ask him to be honest. My support pack Your Man Cheating On You? will help.
