My sexual fantasy is extreme, still I’m determined to ask my wife to fulfill my dreams
DEAR DEIDRE: I long to be a cuckold and watch my wife have sex with other men, but I don’t know how to ask her.
We’ve been married for 11 years and we have no children.
She is a very attractive lady and I can see when she’s out with me that she turns heads. She’s got a beautiful body. She’s curvy and 37.
She’s got her own hairdressing salon and receives lots of uninvited attention and messages from men, sometimes her customers, sometimes strangers.
She shows them to me and says they are funny. She’s never taken the messages seriously.
I’m a man of 39 and I’m a big guy but I’m ordinary to look at and don’t get the attention that my wife does.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
We have an adventurous sex life. She loves dressing up for me, and we enjoy a bit of role play.
Recently, while we were on holiday a guy introduced himself and his wife and we had a good chat.
Later, he asked us if we wanted to join him and his wife in their room for “a bit of fun”.
We turned him down, but it sparked a conversation between us about whether we’d ever dare bring somebody else into our sex life.
My wife said she felt too shy to do it but when we had sex later that night — and it was great sex — she called out the same guy’s name just as she reached orgasm.
She was mortified about it, but I teased her and said, “Perhaps we’ve been too hasty turning him down?”
Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I ask my wife if she would be up for having sex with somebody while I look on?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You could, but the thrill-seeking you long for may not have the results you expect.
Some people are aroused by the thought of seeing another man have sex with their partner.
It’s one of the more common fetishes – but there are risks involved.
If your wife started to have feelings for the person having sex with her, or even if she wanted a repeat performance, would this compromise how you felt about your own sexual prowess?
If this is something you both want to do, set up your own boundaries, not least practising safe sex.
If you decide that you’d rather keep sex between the two of you after all, my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help you to spice things up.