AS Strictly Come Dancing’s head judge, she is used to scrutinising celebrities on the dancefloor.
But there is no one Shirley Ballas is harder on than herself.
Despite looking every inch the star, she admits she has always felt pressure to stay slim as a dancer.
Shirley, 63, says: “Hunger is a state of mind for me. I can’t talk for anybody else out there, and to each his own — I want to make that clear.
“My phobias, my fears and my self-loathing of how I look comes from years and years of different things in my industry, where people have said things or compared me against different dancers.
“They are my own hang-ups. I hope other people will have a better feeling about how they look, because what I’ve learned over the years is that everybody is beautiful, as long as you feel comfortable in your own skin.
“I’m getting there. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there.”
Throughout her life, it has been a battle to refrain from eating the things she loves most, including cake and biscuits.
She says: “It’s always difficult when I’m on the run-up to anything like Strictly. I have to really watch what I’m eating.”
In fact, Shirley brings in her own meals when recording the hit BBC show.
She says: “I don’t do catering, I have seen the food at Strictly. They have lots of yummy cakes and sweets and biscuits and they have all sorts of fantastic food.
“But it definitely is calorie food, because obviously the dancers are dancing all day and of course they’re young with fabulous bodies.”
She adds: “I get my lemon chicken from Marks & Spencers and Sainsbury’s. It’s been cooked.
“The crew bring me a lot of salad, and we might have a bit of sushi in the afternoon perhaps. And that’s what I have on Strictly and I’ve had that every year, every week for six years.”
Things were a bit different during her professional dance career in the Eighties and Nineties.
The mum-of-one explains: “I didn’t know much about what to put in your body back then. I wasn’t so conscious.
“I just knew you couldn’t eat too much mashed potato and you couldn’t eat bread. I tried to do that and cut down on the carbs.
“When I got pregnant, I went bananas. I gained all my baby weight in the first three months, on Shipley Do-Nuts and milk.”
She adds: “But all my life I’ve been around people who have told me, ‘You’re too heavy’. Or different partners who’d say, ‘You’re going to look like that person!’. It was very judging.”
She is hopeful, however, that today the industry has evolved, along with people’s attitudes to body shaming.
Shirley says: “I’ve seen a change over the last 12-18 months. People are not so attacking if you’re curvy.
“But in my day, it was lethal! You had to be stick thin to get in your Latin dress.
“One woman said to me, ‘If your legs wobble, put a pair of fishnets on, because we do not want to watch it’. It has left me with this sense of not liking to look in the mirror at myself unless I’m a certain weight.
“All the way from a small child, I liked to eat and liked my snacks and maybe I was just a little bit heavier than some of the other kids.”
Her mum Audrey worked for Cadbury’s chocolate factory and used to bring home the misshapen biscuits every Friday.
Shirley reveals: “I like all biscuits, that’s what people won’t know about me.
“I really have to be self-disciplined not to eat sweets, otherwise I will sit and eat sweets all day. I just love sweets, anything liquorice.”
Last year Shirley posted a video of her doing press-ups before live Strictly shows, showing her dedication to being fit for the millions of viewers.
But instead of finding the show easier in her seventh year, the intense pressure that comes with being on the UK’s favourite programme has affected her.
She recently told how news of plans to kidnap former Good Morning Britain presenter Holly Willoughby had left her nervous.
She said: “I travel everywhere with caution. I’m not free as a bird, like I used to be.”
And in another exclusive chat with The Sun, Shirley revealed how horrific online trolling had left her scared to leave the house.
She explained: “I’ve had people draw coffins with me in it, with somebody with a spade, that said, ‘Die you bitch’.”
And Shirley fears it is only getting worse, as online commentators get personal in their attacks about Strictly.
She said: “It’s difficult to read some of the comments when it’s no longer about the show. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, that’s absolutely fine.
But when people vote to put people in the bottom, I have to send someone home.
“When the trolling gets to be about your personal self, your face, your hair, your figure, your bingo-wing arms, or your big ears or your eyes, I think it’s not necessary.”
However, she rules out quitting social media and letting the trolls win.
“That won’t work for me,” she says. “I don’t just have Strictly, I have the dance industry as well. I’m constantly on social media.
“But I want to say to the fans out there that have supported me, 90 per cent of those people, the fans, have been fantastic.
“But if I got positive messages and one negative one, it’s the negative one that can be really cruel, it really hurts.
“I feel sorry for the younger generation, the kids, family and friends that get it, and who have to endure it on a daily basis.
“It’s across the board, it’s not just me.
“I think people are passionate about the show, somebody is always going to be someone’s favourite, but I critique what is in front of me.”
On the Comfort Eating podcast with Grace Dent, she said that any accusations of unfairness or bias on Strictly are unfounded.
She added: “I’ve done this job for 52 years, I don’t go lighter or harder, I go on what goes on in that moment.
“The boys and girls, believe it or not, love the constructive criticism that they can hold on to and improve for next week.”
Shirley has also had to defend her love life, after there was speculation that she had split from toy boy lover Danny Taylor, 50, after referring to him as a “good friend” earlier in the year.
Addressing the rumours in August, she said: “We’re still together after four and a half years. That’s miraculous.
“He has a very busy schedule and I have a very busy schedule.
“He’s in the North and I’m in the South, but somehow we do try to make it work, so that’s good.
“What I like most about Danny is he has a heart of gold and he puts up with my lifestyle.
“I am like the Tasmanian devil and I’m all over the place.”
