Kat Von D is happier in her life as a Christian.
The former tattoo artist and star of reality series "L.A. Ink" spoke about finding and restoring her relationship with God on the "Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey" podcast.
She explained that in her 20s she had a "free-thinking mentality to question everything, especially authority."
That led her to look into new age practices like witchcraft, meditation and yoga.
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"I was just searching for answers and meaning in so many of the wrong places like most people do," Von D said.
After also struggling with alcohol and drugs, she became sober almost 17 years ago, but still found the non-Christian spirituality wasn’t helping her, comparing it to "short-lived band-aids on a sinking ship."
One night, she decided to throw away all her books on witchcraft and other new age practices, describing them as "crutches."
"I don’t want these crutches in my life anymore, and that’s what really I saw them as," the 41-year-old said. "I just want Jesus, and it’s a very narrow road. I feel like all these other, these breathing techniques, or spell work, nature worship, all these things, they’re just crutches. They’re not really my answer."
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"And so for me, I would rather eliminate any distractions. And this is just what works for me," she added.
Just before the lockdowns, she continued to work on "re-evaluating" her life, and her friend sent her a sermon that she "loved" and felt it "answered a lot of questions" she had.
"I’m on fire for Jesus. I don’t plan on this dimming out," Von D said. "The more and more I learn, the more excited I get about things and the more at ease I am about what’s happening in this world and what’s happening in my marriage, in all of it."
She noted she still has friends into new age practices like tarot, witchcraft and mediation, but feels like they are "miserable" and admits she was "one of them."
"I would look around at my Christian friends, they’re not perfect by any means, but I want what you have. Like I love the light that you have," she said.
Von D recently moved to Indiana where she joined a Baptist church and decided to get baptized.
She shared a video of the day on her social media, but says she faced backlash from non-Christians and Christians alike.
"It went from, ‘Well her hand wasn’t completely submerged in water, so this is fake, it doesn’t count…’ Other people were like, ‘She’s faking it, this is just for a PR stunt,’" the author recalled.
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"I’m not an idiot," she continued. "I knew that when I posted that video, people would have questions."
Von D said her choice to film the ceremony was "intentional" as a way of atoning for her past.
"There’s the symbolic gesture of baptism, but also a part for me is a bit of making amends with my followers because for so many years, I’ve been putting out a certain message that makes me sad I was ever even a part of," she explained.
"To publicly proclaim this was me setting some things right. Just for me. It has nothing to do with, my church isn’t involved in that thought process. It was important to me to share that."
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"This is something I want to celebrate. I want to be open and honest about it," she added.
Born Katherine von Drachenberg in Mexico, she was raised by Christian missionary parents, but rebelled because "I had a lot of questions as a kid and I don’t think my parents were equipped with the answers."
She ran away from home at 14, and said she put her parents "through a literal hell that I’ve made amends for now."
But their faith also helped her find her way back to God.
"I think I was very lucky I had parents that were Christian," she said. "I do credit my dad for everything because I remember finding myself in very dark moments and intuitively I was praying. And it wasn’t because my dad made me, because He’d been waiting, that’s all."
"When you can fall in love and learn as an adult, it’s so much more meaningful and real than it is when you’re a child just doing it because this is what we do. And this is how we do it."