Men act like they’re picky and constantly annoyed with everything, but they’re really not. They actually love getting gifts, and relish the idea that you’re thinking of them. But what’s the secret to getting your fave dude something absolutely sick that he’ll never see coming? Like, he already keeps his fridge stocked with the meat and beer he likes, he has a pretty nice TV, and he probably isn’t going to use a fancy vacuum. Well, let me tell you a little secret (hi, it’s me, Adam, the official Resident Dude at VICE’s shopping page): Guys don’t like or need weird, cute little things that take up space and don’t improve their lives in some way; what we do like, however, is better versions of stuff we might already have, or cool things we didn’t realize we wanted. And if you really know and love us, you can easily come up with something totally baller just by paying attention to the places we are falling short.
Does your guy have a weak, generic gym bag he embarrassingly brings when you visit your parents? Time to give him the leather Filson duffle of his dreams. His underwear is falling apart? Have him join the legion of manly dudes switching over to Lululemon (literally—I did, and it changed my life). Pocket knife confiscated at the John Mayer concert you dragged him to? You should feel bad about that, and fix it by giving him a beautiful new Buck knife or Leatherman multi-tool. Still trimming his beard with a pair of scissors? Let him make like James Harden and sculpt a perfect beard with Beard Club’s killer beard trimmer.
If you really want to blow your boo away with a perfect gift, the truth is out there. And by “truth,” we mean “prostate massager,” and by “out there,” we mean “listed below.” Here are the best gifts for your boyfriend, husband, deli man, or favorite father figure.
He does all the driving
Do you just sit pretty in the passenger seat while your man chauffeurs you around to Dairy Queen? He at least needs a phone holder when finding the best route to secure an Oreo Blizzard.
He loves sushi and Star Wars
If his idea of a perfect night is binging mazemen and the entire Star Wars trilogy, then these chopsticks are a match made in heaven.
Shock him with a watch that real Gs love
We love the G-Shocks, and he will, too. They’re durable, iconic, and always in style, no matter whether you’re going to get a burrito or see an opera. The DW5600 is the brand’s beloved original offering.
Not the cleavage he usually loves, but still…
If he cooks anything at all, he’ll love the power this chef- and writer-favorite Chinese cleaver brings to the cutting board. “It's a cult fave because it’s a workhorse in the kitchen, and truly does make me feel cool when I use it,” said our food and kitchen staff writer.
They are your Crunchwrap Supreme
Your man loves you, but he also really loves Taco Bell, so give him this piece of cool, expensive-looking wall art for cheap by Jessica Rowe. The artist was commissioned by Furbish Studio to create a special series of watercolors of her favorite places, including mountains, prairies, and (of course) Taco Bells.
From the Black Diamond to the bar
This fleece head warmer from The North Face can flex with your boo as he floats from slope-shredding à la 1980s John Denver to “You need anything from the corner store?” real quick and with real style.
That’s amore
Instead of another trip to Olive Garden, gift your Sopranos-obsessed fella a brilliant new manual for making his own pasta from scratch. Then, insist he makes you a four-hour Bolognese.
For maximum chillin'
We mean literally. The Hyperchiller gets coffee, booze, and any other bev cold in less than 60 seconds. You can even use it with a coffee maker for instant iced coffee. An ice-cold latte or brewski is mere moments away—and 21,000+ happy reviewers are all about it.
Polish him up
Grooming is something that makes all the difference, but doesn't come super naturally to all men, ya know? If his hair could use a little cleaning up (or if he's always slathering his 'do with a goo that's probably chock full of carcinogens), stuff his stocking with Aesop's amazing-smelling, shine-infusing Hair Polish; it's perfect for a guy who wants that slicked-back vibe.
He’s one of those straight-edge-hardcore-camping vegans
Naturally, he’s planning on taking you upstate soon. Make sure your woodsy bb has a pour-over coffee kit that can go anywhere/get banged up on a rock and survive without a scratch.
Let him unleash his inner child
They can say whatever they want, but the moment this hoop is hung up in their house, they’ll be acting like it’s the final minutes of Game 7 of the NBA Finals (if they’re not already rehearsing their dunk contest routine).
Beers, bindings, bombing hills
If he’s a winter sports lover who also happens to drink a ton of beer (the overlap is massive in these two categories, trust us) this Wall Mounted Recycled Ski Bottle Opener will be the perfect addition to his man cave or bar setup.
He favorites cabins on Airbnb everyday
Replace his stompers with some fresh sherpa-lined Crocs in a tasteful Realtree print he’ll go gaga over.
He’s obsessed with flossing
If he’s the kinda guy that never forgets toothpaste while traveling (a true skill) he sure will appreciate an upgrade to this editor-fave Philips Sonicare ProtectiveClean 5100 electric toothbrush. We can already see his teeth sparkling.
Give him a trim
Men (except Rick Rubin) should always strive to keep their beards a little cleaner, especially when they have the right tools. If your dude resists tidying up every once in a while, maybe he needs to try James Harden’s beard trimmer. We’re not kidding—this is literally what Harden (says he) uses.
An investment in future dinners
Whether your gent regularly cooks you dinner or you’re simply trying to suggest he should, he’ll absolutely feel motivated when slipping into a Hedley & Bennett cross-back apron, which we think is pretty much the most durable and stylish in the game.
Have y’all tried prostate play yet?
Make this the holiday season y’all dip your toes into P-Play in this step-by-step article with tips on everything from sex toys to foreplay, and cop this massager-cum-trident should to get the ball rolling.
A plant he can’t kill
Philodendrons are easygoing plants. They’re excellent climbers and can tolerate as much or as little water and light as your boo deems necessary. Also, their leaves are shaped like hearts. Aw.
His new nicest pair of boxers
Is he still wearing tattered, fraying Hanes underwear he bought in the 2010s? Time for an upgrade. We love Lululemon boxers, and guarantee he will love them (even if he loves Slayer).
That’s not a knife, this is a knife
Men love getting new pocket knives and multi-tools, no matter how many they have. We love Leatherman’s Free K4’s vibe, and the Buck 371 Stockman is about as classic as it gets.
Make every night burger night
Give him the power to turn his kitchen into a diner with a carbon steel half griddle from Made In. He would thank you, but he’ll be too busy mainlining smash burgers, pancakes, and peppers and onions.
Warm his heart…
… And other parts of his chilly body with this personal and portable concrete tabletop fireplace. It gives you all the perks of a regular-sized fireplace in a compact design that’s perfect for both indoor and outdoor use (city folks, we see you.) It also uses and is powered by isopropyl alcohol, which makes for a clean burn that won’t create soot and is safe to eat over. Cue the marshmallows.
He’s always complaining he needs more protein
Help your king hit his macros—no problem—with a box of mouth-watering meats by Omaha Steaks. Mmmm protein.
His veins are full of coffee
A fresh cup of delicious coffee is liquid magic for your man when he’s grinding hard at his hundredth Halo mission. Keep him wide awake with 24 unique roasts of different origins from Onyx Coffee Lab’s advent calendar while he talks smack to his friends online.
He used to be a bartender
… And that’s why he makes such a mean punch. Tombolo is one of our favorite brands for personality button-downs, and its terry cloth cabana shirt is perfect for someone who likes to wear their love of really good booze on their sleeve.
Grind up on him
Whether he’s making you a tasty Chemex every morning or just jamming a huge pot of Mr. Coffee, having a super precise burr grinder can make a big difference. If he’s still buying pre-ground beans or using a shitty grinder he got at W*lmart when he was in college, it’s time to upgrade.
A crazy-cool book about traditional tattoos
Is your man tatted? Grab him Taschen's big, beautiful book of legendary Dutch tattooist Henk Schiffmaffer's work and archives, which meticulously documents the modern history of tattooing around the world. (Schiffmacher himself has tattooed everyone from Kurt Cobain to Lady Gaga.) It's a hell of a coffee table book, and one your inked-up dude is guaranteed to pore over (and use for new tat ideas).
An alarm clock that beats the horrible ringing on your cell
Using our phone as an alarm clock is convenient, sure, but also ends up filling us with dread every time we hear the ringtone go off and sending us into doomscroll mode. The Loftie is one of VICE writer Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp’s favorite pieces of anti-tech tech (LOL) because it’s an alarm clock that doubles as a white noise machine, podcast purveyor, and overall soothing-vibe beacon.
A sherpa-lined trucker jacket
What do we want in a man, come winter? Cozy, lumbersexual energy—like he could build you a knotty-pine-floored cabin with his bare hands, then pick you up, wrap you up in a bearskin rug, and carry you over to the fire for hot toddies. Regardless of whether your man can actually accomplish any of these things, he'll look the part in this fishing jacket from Levi’s, which looks just as killer with Chucks as it does with broken-in work boots.
Yes, cast iron is worth the hype
We asked some of our favorite chefs if cast iron is all it’s cracked up to be, and they responded with a resounding, sizzling yes because you can cook everything from meats to veggies, shakshuka to stews and more in the right semi-deep skillet. There was also unanimous praise for Lodge, a cult cast iron brand whose skillets will stand the test of time when seasoned correctly, and look handsome chilling out on your burners.
You can also customize your boo’s skillet with the help of Smithey Ironware Company, whose vintage-inspired cast iron can be engraved:
A Carhartt jacket that will outlive us all
Cuties of all kinds, from buttoned-up bros to grumpy punks, love Carhartt. Especially when the Carhartt jacket in question is made of nylon that is waterproof and breathable, equipped with a hood, and lightweight enough for optimal layering. “I bought one of these 8 years ago,” writes one of the ride-or-die jacket owners, “[and] I have gotten nothing but compliments on it. I wear it at work as an industrial electrician, at home, on cool days, or wet days. I have worn this in misty rain and torrential downpours, [and] it took 8 years to get to the point of water penetrating the outer layer, which is why I bought another exactly like it. Hopefully, in 8 years they'll still be available.” Damn.
The best men’s hiking boots that aren’t ugly
In fact, these Salomons look a little too good. We might have to make them part of the horny Chili’s date night ‘fit. There are loads of aesthetic men’s hiking boots these days from brands like Salomon, which really know how to tug on our gorpcore heartstrings with a design that could make even fashion die-hards go weak in the knees.
Keep his tush warm while camping
Camping rocks, and we're all about it. But what we're less enthused by is when the temp suddenly drops while you're out in the wild and you're left shivering instead of enjoying Slenderman stories and blackened mallows around a (controlled, shoutout Smokey the Bear) campfire. That's why Gobi Heat's heated camping chairs—with three heat settings and up to nine hours of continuous heating power via battery—are just the right balance between outdoorsy and, dare we say, glampy (even though we'd rather not use that word regardless of if we like a little touch of luxury with our survivalism).
Some mitts for his mitts
These wax-coated gloves by Give'r are a slow-burn gift. At first, he’ll be like, “Gloves?” and then after using them, he’ll be like, “Gloooves.” These will be his “everything” gloves—they’re heavy-duty, waterproof, and insulated for optimal protection, which means they’re good for everything from grabbing a burning log out of a fire to ice fishing in -25 degrees.
Toast to his health
Imagine going on an adventure and not having this Firelight 750 Flask by High Camp to break out around the campfire and drink to your ancestors. It fits a fifth of liquor or a full bottle of wine, the tumblers magnetically attach to the flask so they don’t get lost, and the wide mouth makes filling and pouring a breeze. This one’s a no-brainer, people.
He still uses navy bed sheets
It’s a running joke that men of a certain age and demographic rely way too heavily on navy sheets. If your boo is still using ‘em, do him a favor with a sateen upgrade from Brooklinen in an olive green hue.
He goes incognito out in public
Baby don’t wanna be bothered by a pedestrian asking for directions? A huge, bold pair of Balenciaga sunglasses will fend them off.
He really appreciates good penmanship
Does the thought of taking notes on his iPhone make him wanna gag? He would probably die at the thought of owning a luxurious Montblanc pen.
You can take it with you
Does your guy love traveling, leather, and guitars? Filson’s new collab line with rocker Chris Stapleton yielded some absolutely stunning pieces, including this medium duffle made of rugged twill, harness leather, and brass.
Turn it up
This Vizio M-Series soundbar is one of the best in the game, according to staff writer Adam Rothbarth. “The experience of watching TV and playing games with the sound bar is amazing, especially if you’ve never owned a good soundbar. Within minutes of starting The Fellowship of the Ring, I was floored by the depth of bass and general fullness of sound the speaker and subwoofer brought into my apartment,” he wrote in a review.
Yep, just a Playstation 5
Nothing shocking here—if he doesn’t already have a PS5, it’s time to rectify that problem. He’s secretly been dying to play Elden Ring.
Upgrade his (and your) coffee situation
We love the Moccamaster drip coffee machine, which reaches pour-over quality java. Read about why we love it, or just decide to trust us already and cop one for your boo.
A solid shed for hiding his secrets
Becoming the proud owner of a solid wooden shed is our generation’s version of owning a home and having a 401(k) plan. Think of all the cool bullshit y’all will be able to store in here; it’s basically an outdoor closet.
Have better sex on this furniture
Here’s an idea: Turn your living room into a horny, sex furniture-filled playground with the help of some sex swings and other strategic purchases, such as this chaise lounge that moonlights as a boning station. The width and curvature are perfect for you two (or three, or whatever) to become lubed-up, human rubber bands.
He’ll be the envy of all his boys
You show up to the party with a 12-pack, and you make 11 friends for a moment. You show up with a Tundra Haul YETI Cooler full of suds, you’re a fucking hero. It’s the first-ever YETI cooler on wheels and features unmatched insulation power and durability, which means this puppy is good for the trails, the beach, and house parties galore.
This rowing machine is a work of art
Did Eames design the Ergatta rowing machine? This is one of those items we dream about having in the ideal at-home gym set-up, because there’s something so gratifying about working out on an apparatus that relies only on cherry wood construction, spinning water, and a design-forward shape that supports your form. Rowing works out nine major muscle groups, dude, so you can rip the bong and merrily make your way upstream to Swole City.
BTW, your mechanic called—he wants the prostate massager, a Hedley & Bennett apron, and the Filson bag.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.