DEAR DEIDRE: I fell head over heels for a man who wowed me with his charm.
We loved the same things, had the same interests and were besotted with each other.
But, after two years, he bumped into his ex and from that moment on our life together unravelled.
I later discovered he’d cheated on me several times.
I’m 28 and he’s 33. In the early years of our time together we couldn’t keep our hands off one another.
I thought the relationship was practically perfect.
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He asked me to marry him and we had plans to move in together.
And then, earlier this year, it all went wrong.
He’d mentioned seeing an ex in the street and suddenly he wanted space due to his mental health and even mentioned suicide, which panicked me.
When I occasionally saw him, he would be very cold and inconsiderate. When we slept together, he would swear at me and become aggressive.
I became ill, feeling sick and faint, and discovered I was pregnant.
But my fiancé could not have cared less. He told me to have an abortion.
I was a mess and, due to the relentless stress of the situation, I had a miscarriage at nine weeks, which I endured alone.
Once he knew I had lost the baby he came back.
But our relationship was never the same.
Then I found messages on his phone from two ex-girlfriends who he had been meeting and having sex with while we were together. I was nothing but honest and committed.
But in return he would barely talk to me and couldn’t admit he had done anything wrong.
I feel betrayed and don’t know how to heal the wounds caused by this toxic womaniser.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Sadly, this man is a narcissist who isn’t capable of caring about anyone else’s feelings.
He love-bombed you in the beginning so you fell hard for him, to ensure less resistance when he started to show his true colours.
Then once he knew he had you hooked, he reverted to his normal behaviour.
You might not appreciate it now, but you have had a lucky escape from this man.
He was abusive and no one deserves a partner who cannot control their temper and blames you for every little thing.
You deserve love and affection. Take your time to grieve for the future you thought you had and give yourself space to learn from this experience.
I’m sending you my support packs, Mend Your Broken Heart and Addictive Love, to help.
